Three Myths About Men And Divorce

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Here are three common misconceptions about the effect of divorce on men.

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Comments

[Edogg62]

03:18 PM on 02/24/2012

No matter WHO begins the process of breaking up a marriage, and for what purpose, there's grieving. Sorry. When ANYONE isn't getting what they need in a marriage, and for a prolonged length of time and AFTER discussing these needs ad nauseum with the involved other party (their spouse) they tend to move on. Man OR woman. Unless they have some sort of masochistic streak.

As a man who got hosed in a divorce settlement with regard to my visitation (I got the usual... every other weekend), I can with absolute certainty say that nary a day goes by without my missing my daughter.

Men are presumed to be old west "tough guys" that will be seen as less desirable, less-Alpha if they avail themselves of mental health treatments. My ex actually said this to me once... "Well, my DAD had a terrible childhood and HE never needed therapy!" Wow. So your DAD is shut-off, angry and hurt, but he's worthy of respect because he's not "weak" and going to therapy?

[ldyqtee6]

09:57 AM on 02/24/2012

1) Often the catalyst for divorce is that men have moved on to other women while they are still married. So they have no right to grieve, except perhaps because they caused the pain.

2) Men generally think that they are secondary care givers to their children and view it as baby sitting rather than parenting, so they don't have the same investment in their children.

3) They don't need support; they need help in resolving their own personal issues and exorcising their personal demons.

3)

[Spartan112]

10:24 AM on 02/24/2012

1) Stats please...yes, infidelity is a major cause divorce...but is it always men? Even if it is 75% for the sake of argument, what percentage of divorce is rooted in infidelity? half? a third?

2)..Hi..welcome to the 21st century. The fathers that I know do not consider themselves "secondary" caregivers. I think it is women who are predisposed to looking at us that way.

3) So only men have personal demons? Wow...and doesn't resolving personal issues and demons happen faster with support?

4) You are a knob.

[Edogg62]

03:22 PM on 02/24/2012

Absolutely man... I know of COUNTLESS women... MARRIED women who had affairs. Please. I love how it's more admirable when someone (i.e., a woman) leaves their spouse due to not getting EMOTIONAL needs met (vs. the stereotypical male who leaves THEIR spouse for "sex"). What a laugh. People have needs. DIFFERENT needs. After a certain length of time where the need is not being addressed, even after numerous discussions, therapy etc? You get out. Sorry. If your spouse doesn't care enough about you to even ATTEMPT to meet your needs? No matter WHAT your needs are (within reason of course), you need to begin your exit strategy.

I am most CERTAINLY not a "secondary" caregiver. My ex would LOVE to paint me with that brush, but I'm not having it.

Great post man... let's stop the double standards...

[Edogg62]

03:12 PM on 02/24/2012

WOW! So men are the only ones who end marriages? Ha ha ha. Bitter much? Whew.

"BABYSITTERS?" Just MAYBE that's due to men being marginalized by WOMEN in their role as parents?

Wow...

[MsLizabeth]

03:16 AM on 02/24/2012

Well that was a waste of time to read.

[Spartan112]

08:07 AM on 02/24/2012

Why is that?

[CSNC]

04:29 PM on 02/23/2012

"Top 3 Divorce Myths For Men"

The day that I see a picture of divorcing families with the father holding the child while the mother looks sad, is the day that I am sure I 1) will have a heart attack and 2) will log-off permanently from HP.

Any takers?

H

[MsLizabeth]

03:18 AM on 02/24/2012

It happens.

Better take a half aspirin a day for that heart. I can't help you with HP, it was sold several months ago and an imposter has taken its place and populated it with tro-lls.

[CSNC]

09:38 AM on 02/24/2012

MsLizabeth,

Yes, you are right and I am tired of HP... leaving soon.

H