iPhone app iPad app Android phone app Android tablet app More

Personal Experiences Persuaded GOP Legislators On Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage Maryland New Jersey Washington

Posted: 03/ 6/2012 10:26 am

By Mary Slosson

LOS ANGELES--The personal experiences of friends, family or constituents persuaded a crucial group of Republican lawmakers to vote for same-sex marriage in three state legislatures last month, in some cases tipping the balance in favor of legalizing gay matrimony.

Among them were two Washington state legislators with gay relatives, a New Jersey state senator who changed her mind while working on an anti-bullying measure and a Maryland state House delegate inspired by a gay couple coping with cancer.

"All politics is personal," Republican Washington state Senator Steve Litzow said in explaining his vote to support gay marriage legislation.

"If people have a personal connection, know 'this is somebody I love and care about,' I think that makes a huge difference," said Litzow, one of four Republican state senators who helped the measure pass in Washington state by a vote of 28 to 21.

Gay marriage is one of the defining "culture wars" issues dividing the United States during the 2012 presidential election year. Supporters see it as a question of civil rights and equality for gay Americans. Opponents see it as morally wrong and an attack on traditional marriage between a man and a woman.

At the state level, where there has been surprising momentum for same sex marriage this year, some lawmakers put the ideological wars aside and responded to the personal pleas.

They did so at great political risk. Most of the Republican converts were met with impassioned resistance from fellow members of their party. Activists pledged to defeat them in the next election cycle, and in some cases constituents confronted them angrily.

But in separate interviews, each told Reuters that they were willing to lose their elected office in order to stand up for what they believed was a basic civil rights issue.

During an emotional debate on the floor of the Washington state House of Representatives in early February, Republican Maureen Walsh spoke of being frustrated that her lesbian daughter could not legally marry her girlfriend.

"She's met the person that she loves very much and someday, by God, I want to throw a wedding for that kid," Walsh told her fellow legislators on the floor of the House. "I hope she won't feel like a second-class citizen."

TEARS AT THE DINNER TABLE

Video of Walsh's speech went viral on the Internet, scoring millions of views on YouTube, after George Takei, an outspoken gay rights activist famous for his role as Mr. Sulu on "Star Trek," posted it on his Facebook page.

Walsh then began receiving an outpouring of international support, with phone calls and text messages from Lebanon, Turkey, Sweden, Iceland, Japan, Germany and more.

But Walsh said one story made her feel that her vote, which helped the measure clear the House 55 to 43, was worth whatever cost she may face for her stance.

"My daughter got a text from a young girl after I gave my speech that said, 'Will you please thank your mother? My mother hasn't talked to me for three years since I came out to her. My mom called me and told me she loved me tonight,'" Walsh said.

The lawmaker was sitting at the dinner table when her daughter read the text aloud and remembers bursting into tears.

"Win or lose my next election, that meant everything to me," she said in an emotional interview with Reuters.

Opponents have already started raising money to kick Walsh out of her seat. Over 70 percent of her district voted against a ballot measure affirming the state's 2009 domestic partnership law.

Walsh, who called her vote an "issue of conscience," was joined in crossing party lines to vote for gay marriage in Washington state by Glenn Anderson, whose younger brother is gay.

New Jersey state Senator Diane Allen was one of two Republicans to help provide the 24 to 16 margin for gay marriage in the state Senate. She said her vote was swayed by work on anti-bullying legislation, the personal stories shared by members of advocacy groups, and gay friends.

"Young people perceived as gay, lesbian or transgender tend to be bullied more than any other group. It all started to fall together after that," Allen said in explaining her vote.

New Jersey's anti-bullying legislation, said to be the toughest in the nation, passed in the wake of the suicide death of 18-year-old Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who took his life after fellow students posted video of him engaged in intimate behavior with another man.

'THE RIGHT THING TO DO'

"This was not the politically astute thing to do. It was just the right thing to do," Allen said. "It could cost me my seat in the Senate, but the reality is that I'm not here to save my seat," Allen said.

Maryland Delegate Wade Kach said he changed his position on gay marriage after hearing testimony from same-sex couples.

Kach, who describes himself as a conservative, said he was particularly moved by the story of a pastor and his partner, who had beaten cancer a few years ago, only to have the disease return. He remembered noticing how supportive the men were of each other.

The Maryland Senate vote for gay marriage was extremely close, at 25 to 22, while it squeaked through in the lower House of Delegates by 72 to 67.

"I can remember the pastor saying that they've been coming down (to the legislature) for the last eight years in support of this bill, and they don't expect that next year they'll be able to come any longer," Kach said, referring to the cancer.

Kach said he received a deluge of emails and phone calls from constituents since he announced his support of the same-sex marriage bill, the majority angry and disappointed by the decision.

"It's a shame that each one of my constituents didn't have an opportunity to be there during the public hearing and have the opportunity to talk to some of the witnesses," Kach said, "because I think some hearts would have been changed."

Democratic governors of Maryland and Washington signed the legislation lawmakers approved, but in New Jersey, Republican Governor Chris Christie vetoed it.

Republicans were not the only ones to help tip the balance in favor of same sex marriage.

In Washington state, Governor Chris Gregoire was pivotal in the outcome because she publicly backed the measure after years of being torn between her Catholic faith and a commitment to equality. Her endorsement encouraged supporters to push the legislation through.

Anne Levinson, a former deputy mayor of Seattle and co-owner of the Seattle Storm professional women's basketball team, recalled the two sitting courtside at a basketball game and discussed Gregoire's nearly 30-year journey from crafting anti-bullying legislation to finally supporting gay marriage.

"She was feeling like she wasn't really being true to herself and her friendships and her values before this," Levinson said.

(Additional reporting by Alice Popovici in Maryland and Himanshu Ojha in New York; Editing by Dan Whitcomb, Dan Burns, Cynthia Johnston and Greg McCune)

(Refiles to correct garbled names throughout)

Copyright 2012 Thomson Reuters. Click for Restrictions.

FOLLOW HUFFPOST POLITICS
Subscribe to the HuffPost Hill newsletter!
By Mary Slosson LOS ANGELES--The personal experiences of friends, family or constituents persuaded a crucial group of Republican lawmakers to vote for same-sex marriage in three state legislatu...
By Mary Slosson LOS ANGELES--The personal experiences of friends, family or constituents persuaded a crucial group of Republican lawmakers to vote for same-sex marriage in three state legislatu...
Filed by Luke Johnson  | 
 
 
  • Comments
  • 80
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Post Comment Preview Comment
To reply to a Comment: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to.
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2  Next ›  Last »  (2 total)
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
practiceempathy
Tolerance need not yield to willful ignorance.
01:58 PM on 03/19/2012
I love how this piece on how personal stories provided insight and understanding has under 100 comments, but over at the Kirk Cameron piece, there's just back and forth between gays defending themselves against Cameron's words and religious zealots offering nothing deeper than proselytizing...the the tune of 22,000 comments.

That's really sad.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alisa Neely
i SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS....EQUAL RIGHTS really....i f
11:27 PM on 03/07/2012
it is a CIVIL RIGHTS issue....something everyone in this country should already have....as long as their LEGAL CITIZENS of the USA....this is about rights and protections that straight couples TAKE FOR "GRANTED".

alisa
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Devin DeWeil
Live, laugh, and LOVE LIFE!!!
10:42 AM on 03/07/2012
THIS IS WHY WE MUST KEEP SPEAKING OUT!!!!! Love is more powerful than hate. Hearts and minds can be opened. By opening up our lives and hearts we have the power to move the world and this country away from hate. NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR EQUALITY. NEVER GIVE UP. It Gets Better!!!! And I personally am in this to win...step by step, state by state, person by person. I will talk to anyone and everyone who will listen...most times even if they won't. It takes one spark to create a fire. BE THAT SPARK.
10:11 AM on 03/07/2012
At first glance I thought that was a picture of Tyne Daly.
12:29 AM on 03/07/2012
"This was not the politically astute thing to do. It was just the right thing to do."

As uplifting as this story is, it's sad, and pretty frightening, when an elected official has no qualms with acknowledging the disparity between the former and the latter.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lou on Vancouver Island
Allin, Lou: Mystery Author
12:27 AM on 03/07/2012
Most homophobes don't know any gay people. Perhaps because they don't want to. I'm seeing here that such may not always be the case. As more gays come out (wish I had had that option in 1960), the human contact factor will make the difference. Still can't fathom how parents of gays can't love their kids, though. Talk about unnatural.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alisa Neely
i SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS....EQUAL RIGHTS really....i f
11:29 PM on 03/07/2012
especially when as far i know, a parent's love is SUPPOSED TO BE UNCONDITIONAL....and when you have actors saying that if their kid came "out" to them, they'd TURN them AWAY.....that's scarry...and only says, that's the right thing to do....which is WRONG.

alisa
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Namaste MF
08:12 PM on 03/06/2012
Great to see people doing the right thing instead of playing games. Way to go! This type of this restores my faith in humanity.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mindy Czech
Cindy's wife for life.
07:06 PM on 03/06/2012
I've noticed that most conservatives that are okay with gay people are those who have a beloved family member or friend that comes out as gay. They want equality only when it effects someone they care about. It's sad, really.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ta2t2o
If I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong.
09:46 PM on 03/06/2012
I don't buy that. I just think they perhaps understand a bit better what it means as they know someone personally. That's why it's important for as many people who are in the closet to come out.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
aviandonn
My micro-bio is empty
11:51 PM on 03/06/2012
I think your both right. I think when they have a relative or loved one who is gay, they do see the whole person. They see through the lies and the propaganda and know those aren't true. But you can disbelieve the propaganda, you can think gays are ok people, and still not support full equality, especially marriage equality. But when it's one of your own relatives that you love that you're proposing to deny full equality, it becomes very difficult to continue to draw that line.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
duggal
05:16 PM on 03/06/2012
It is quite comforting to see legislators being statesmen/women instead of mere political pawns.
Good for them, I would like to think that this is a beginning of working across the aisle.
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Mediorite
boom.
02:56 PM on 03/06/2012
It really is a truism: If you want to convince someone to support LGBT rights, introduce them to a gay person.

It's a much quicker path than appealing to reason or justice.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Diana Black Bandelow
Live and let live. And question EVERYTHING.
02:04 PM on 03/06/2012
Evolution and adaptation. It's a beautiful thing.
photo
Prolixity Split
What IS an acceptable micro-bio now?
02:03 PM on 03/06/2012
It is both encouraging and disappointing that same sex marriage is winning ground because Republicans are starting to see the effects up close and personally.

I say it is encouraging because it means that there's real hope that every state will legalize same sex marriage, sooner than later. It is encouraging that people can be persuaded against party lines when it really counts, and are aware that there is a greater purpose to being an elected official than securing a seat until you can collect the full pension.

It is disappointing that it takes personal contact with gay couples, relatives, etc. to get people to change their minds, and even then to change their minds based on emotional appeals rather than reason. Arguments against same sex marriage based in religion are irrelevant to the secular institution of marriage, which is a contract between the individuals recognized by the state that endows them as a couple with 1300+ privileges. Irrelevant, as in "having no probative value on any issue of secular marriage contracts." The argument that same sex marriage is an assault on traditional marriage is not only irrelevant, it is ridiculous. Same sex marriage is parallel to traditional marriage, not in opposition. Traditional couples lose nothing, are not discouraged, and suffer no consequences as a result of same sex marriage. You can and should evaluate secular marriage on its own merits, without any religious connotation, and it is deeply disappointing that so many of our lawmakers choose not to.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
reading2009
Down the rabbit hole and through the looking glass
04:53 PM on 03/06/2012
Well, people should use reason, logic and facts...but we're emotional creatures. So, it's really not surprising. And at least we know it, so now we can use it!
photo
Prolixity Split
What IS an acceptable micro-bio now?
03:47 AM on 03/07/2012
Indeed. Go forth and induce emotional responses!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alisa Neely
i SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS....EQUAL RIGHTS really....i f
11:36 PM on 03/07/2012
might as well USE what ever we can, to get WHAT we want and what is RIGHT.....like this civil rights issue.

alisa
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Laudano
02:00 PM on 03/06/2012
Just cause it's "winning" doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. If the prevailing opinion was to put a gun to our heads to get rid of cancer doesn't mean it'd be the right thing but I wonder how many would pull the trigger?
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
haljil
02:48 PM on 03/06/2012
To Laudano: Really tragic that you would equate worthy individuals making lifetime commitments through love and marriage - Rights that the rest of us straight people take for granted and enjoy! - to putting guns to people's heads and cancer!!! What is wrong with you?
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Alisa Neely
i SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS....EQUAL RIGHTS really....i f
11:38 PM on 03/07/2012
thank you.....and a very GOOD question.....LOVE IS LOVE, NO MATTER THE GENER OR RACE OF THOSE INVOLVED.....we're talking about EQUAL HUMAN "CIVIL RIGHTS", here.

alisa
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Mediorite
boom.
02:58 PM on 03/06/2012
=== Just cause it's "winning" doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. ===

That's true. But the only people who have been making that argument are opponents of marriage equality.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lacrosselamore
sick of sacntomony and deluded fools
01:59 PM on 03/06/2012
I give my undying respect to the GOP Lawmakers who put their political lives on the line for Marriage Equality.
xzwq
don't let cons forget GWB. they ruined america
12:46 PM on 03/06/2012
P.a.t.h.e.t.i.c.

T.y.p.i.c.a.l conservatism on display for all to see.

Cons refuse to act on an issue until it directly effects them. No wonder the con party doesn't care about the p.o.o.r or m.i.n.o.r.i.t.i.e.s. The whole party is made up of r.i.c.h w.h.i.t.e people, so of course p.o.o.r and m.i.n.o.r.i.t.y issues have still yet to effect the cons.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
01:44 PM on 03/06/2012
I think you should re-evaluate your own values.

late to the party is better than never and I applaud these people who stand up for what is right, regardless of how or how long it took them to get there.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Diana Black Bandelow
Live and let live. And question EVERYTHING.
02:06 PM on 03/06/2012
To eventually come around to the point that Liberals were at years ago??! Yeah... I guess you can give them credit but they don't deserve much.
05:58 PM on 03/06/2012
I know what they have done to us hurts...but you have to understand they were working with the best state of consciecness that they had at the time...the fact that some of them can now see the truth is a good thing! We have to forgive in order to move forward. :)