As is often the case with election days, "The Colbert Report" taped on Super Tuesday well before any results began to come in. But that didn't stop Colbert from opening his show by focusing on the drama and excitement of the day's events:
"It's like the Super Bowl of politics, if the Super Bowl was one team slowly destroying itself."
Of course, what would any Super Tuesday be without a good, old-fashioned tailgate party? Colbert broke out the brats, 10-layer dip (one for each state) and his famous Republican salsa, which is "mostly mayonnaise with a dash of Miracle Whip."
And to drink, the host was serving up a batch of margaritas... with a twist reflecting our current political climate: "I could not find my blender so instead I'm using a transvaginal ultrasound wand."
We're filing this away as one of the most hilariously disturbing sight-gags in recent memory.