We recently started thinking of Karl Lagerfeld as the "Mitt Romney of fashion designers." After all, both men make offhand statements about their lives of luxury that can seem foreign to those of us who don't scoot around in a Cadillac.

Examples? Well, there's Mitt talking about how many of his pals own NFL teams. And just last week, the Kaiser admitted that he'd never been to a supermarket. (Not too shocking for the man who won't eat anything that isn't from Nobu.)

But while Romney's statements are often seen as a glaring political liability, Lagerfeld's read more as simply tales from his life in the fab lane. In a new interview with Harper's Bazaar, the famous Chanel designer did something Mitt would probably never do in an election year: publish a 24-hour diary of his life and happenings living in Paris. His very plush happenings.

Much of Karl's life is predictably prodigal; for example, does the Kaiser shower? No, he only takes soaks in hundred-year-old bath salts from France. Duh.

Some more gems:

"I never have lunch, but when I do, I ask them to bring it to me in the house. I actually have two houses. This house here, it's only for sleeping and sketching, and I have another house two-and-a-half meters away for lunch and dinner and to see people, and where the cook is and all that."
"I have two drivers and several cars. I have a driver who in the morning does the shopping for me and brings the newspapers, and another one, Sébastien, who is also my secretary, who is free in the morning and works in the afternoon and late in the evening."

Cool. We have two houses a meter apart, too, if you count our bedroom and bathroom as separate houses.

Lap of luxury aside, Karl also reveals his peculiar beverage habits:

"I never drink anything hot; I don't like hot drinks, very strange. I drink Diet Coke from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. I can even drink it in the middle of the night, and I can sleep. I don't drink coffee, I don't drink tea, I drink nothing else."

Tickle yourself with more stories from Karl's fabulous life over at Harper's Bazaar.

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