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Mike Polk Jr.'s Letter To Browns: 'My Checking Account Is Currently In A Rebuilding Year' (VIDEO)

Posted: 03/27/2012 5:37 pm Updated: 03/27/2012 5:37 pm

Cleveland Browns
HOUSTON, TX - NOVEMBER 06: Quarterback Colt McCoy #12 of the Cleveland Browns gets up slowly after being sacked against the Houston Texans on November 6, 2011 at Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Thomas B. Shea/Getty Images)

Cleveland Browns coach Pat Shurmur revealed that the team will be "moving forward" with quarterback Colt McCoy while attending the NFL owners' meetings on Tuesday. After not going after free-agent Peyton Manning and being leapfrogged in the upcoming NFL Draft by the Washington Redskins -- who traded up for the No. 2 overall pick to nab Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III -- there don't seem to be many options more promising than the QB that Cleveland selected in third round of the 2010 Draft.

"We're looking forward to him being our guy and I'm looking forward to seeing him improve. We believe he has a chance to be a fine player in this league," Shurmur told Mary Kay Cabot of The Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Coming off a 4-12 season, this wasn't exactly what Browns fans wanted to hear.

Tristan's Triceps
Shurmur: "we're moving forward with Colt McCoy as our starting quarterback." isn't that, in reality, moving backward? Idiot.

Yahoo!'s Ben Maller translated Shurmur's comments, tweeting that what he really meant was that the Browns "will continue rich losing tradition."

Ben Maller
What Pat Shurmur said: "Browns ’moving forward with Colt McCoy’ as QB" What he meant: "Cleveland will continue rich losing tradition"

Looking to be as communicative with management as Shurmur was with the team's fans, comedian and Browns season ticket holder Mike Polk Jr. wrote a letter to the organization. In response to a reminder to submit his first season ticket payment, Polk wrote -- and filmed himself writing -- his response. After thanking the team for its "frenzied free agent activity thus far," Polk detailed his alternative payment plan.

"I am enclosing an initial payment of $2 to cover both preseason games that I am forced to purchase," he wrote. "I'm sure that you will concur that fifty cents a seat is a more than adequate price to pay to see fourth-string walk-ons from Mount Union run into each other in a meaningless scrimmage while I drink several of your $11 beers."

Further explaining the logic supporting his payment scheme, Polk said that he won't purchase tickets to the final two home games of the season because by that time, "people are able to buy seats all around me for about $6."

Considering that the Browns have won more than five games in a season just once since 2006, Polk's forecasting of the secondary market late in the upcoming season seems accurate.


Filed by Michael Klopman  |