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Picnic Pants: For When Eating Off Your Crotch Is Something You Want To Do (PHOTOS)

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Have you always wanted to use your groin as a plate, but just found the whole thing way too difficult? Logistically?

Fret no more, lap-foodies! Your daydreaming days are over.

An Italian design company called Acquacalda makes a pair of snack-ready jeans called Pic Nic pants, which are basically a super sexy pair of denim harem capris accentuated with a fabric flap that spreads out, all plate-like, when you sit cross-legged.

Let's let Acquacalda's website explain:

"Fashion imposes forms to whom finding a function seems a must." (AMEN! Wait, what?)

"Pic Nic pants take advantage of the usual cross-legged position to become a comfortable surface useful for the consumption of a meal outdoors. Laterally pants have an orientable pocket for drinks."

A crotch plate AND a pouch for your beer? This just keeps getting better and better. In fact, we're so excited, we came up with some special recipe creations for your first ever pants-picnic:

Picnic Pants Recipes

1. Pour trail mix onto crotch. Eat.

2. Use groin panel to flatten out nori wraps and roll sushi. Eat.

3. Line nether-region flap with waterproof sealing and pour in cereal and milk. Eat. Cereal Pants!

Yes! We are already looking forward to what we hope are the next incarnations: Barbecue Bra and Pizza Spanx.

BEHOLD:

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