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Interracial Dating: Teens And Parents Express Diverging Views On Dating Outside Race (VIDEO)

Posted: 04/ 6/2012 10:32 am Updated: 04/ 6/2012 10:32 am

Interracial Dating

A new Anderson 360 study on teens and race revealed a major generational divide between adolescents and their parents. The study found that some parents discourage interracial dating among their children and identify it as a source of anxiety.

Jimmy, an African-American middle school student, said that his parents disapprove of his white girlfriends. "They said, 'Why not your own kind?' because all my girls have been white," he told CNN. "It's not like they were like, 'You need to choose a black girl,' it's just they were asking me why I like white girls and I was just like, 'There's no... specific reason.' "

Although Jimmy's father says that he is supportive of his son dating outside his own race, he added: "When you see your kid always steering towards a different race, you want to make sure that he doesn't have a problem with his own race... Because we'd never seen him with a black girlfriend."

According to child psychologist Dr. Melanie Killen, often a parent's primary concern is that their children will marry a member of another race, sometimes claiming that cultural differences can lead to marital challenges. One parent said of interracial partners: "They have great marriages. They also have shared challenges at times. Challenges in the way the families may relate, challenges that they themselves may have either between themselves or the perception of other people."

According to a 2010 study of interracial marriages, more and more people are choosing to date and marry outside their race. Census data by researchers at Cornell University and Ohio State University shows that in 1980, 6.7 percent of marriages were interracial. By 2008, it had risen to nearly 15 percent.

Recently, Republican presidential front-runner Mitt Romney was questioned about his faith and stance on interracial marriage. Although the Mormon church has been accused of taking a stand against interracial marriage, Romney claimed that it was not a sin, in his view.

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A new Anderson 360 study on teens and race revealed a major generational divide between adolescents and their parents. The study found that some parents discourage interracial dating among their child...
A new Anderson 360 study on teens and race revealed a major generational divide between adolescents and their parents. The study found that some parents discourage interracial dating among their child...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
geddy lee is a god
05:02 PM on 04/09/2012
My father has stated in the past that he had relationships with all races of women, but mostly women of color. Foreign black, ethnic white, Native American, Asian, mixed race...he was attracted to them physically and culturally. So it was not a jaw-dropping surprise when he introduced his future wife -- a Cape Verdean woman he met in the UK -- to his family in Vancouver BC. He didn't think she would go for him when they first met because he's white, but she looked past his race and saw a great guy who was husband-material.

The racial dynamics of their relationship were not always easy, especially when they started a family. But our parents are soldiers. They are a strong, strong couple who instilled confidence and pride in all 5 of their children. In July, they will celebrate 38 years of marriage. They set great examples for us. Even though they have racial differences, their values are perfectly aligned.

As my mom always says, "love who you love, look for quality (lol @ momz making sure we didn't get involved with scrubs), and don't give small-minded people any power over you."
02:03 PM on 04/09/2012
Yet if they marry someone from another race with money, like a celebrity, it doesn't seem to matter.
03:47 PM on 04/08/2012
I find it very interesting reading the views of you young people. It sounds like you have the same issues as my generation (30 yrs, ago). I had hoped relations between the races had improved more. I do see more and more Black women dating White and even Asian men. Probably because there is a shortage of well educated, drug-free straight black men. I myself have dated both Black and White over the years and found that the more people share the same values the better the chance for the relationship. Unfortunately, I have found some of the new immigrants have preconcieved notions of African Americans. Another battle for us:(
01:53 PM on 04/09/2012
I don't think there's a shortage of well educated, drug free men. I think you've been watching too much TV.

Immigrants have preconceived notions about black people because of movies, rap music and TV. They want to assimilate as much as possible into white America.
06:56 PM on 04/09/2012
Not watching too much TV, seeing too many young Black men on street corners with droopy drawers during school hours!!!
04:24 PM on 11/04/2012
See above.
So the people like me that were actually blessed to have fathers married to their mothers got lucky. I have 5 siblings and we all have the same mom and dad that were married before and after they had us. It isn't fair that I have to deal with this now in a society where it shouldn't matter anymore. Stereotypes are dumb, so if you actually listen to them to bad for you. I'm in 5 ap classes and have a lot going for me, so when people stereotype me it makes them look stupid not me.
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sprklz
10:02 AM on 04/08/2012
Loving someone is base on how you make each other feel, how your hearts connect, not on the color of your skin or your religion or your culture. It's crazy society that dictates otherwise. To quote from the song Nature Boy, "the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." Isn't THAT what should matter?
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hharrison22
01:55 AM on 04/08/2012
The problem is equating race with culture. Race refers to skin color and nothing else. Race is not synonymous with culture. Feel free to check out my thoughts on this study as someone is in an interracial marriage: http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/04/07/its-2012-are-we-really-still-having-this-conversation/
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Shanda Smalls
~June 12, 1967 - Loving vs Virginia ~ Equality
03:29 PM on 04/25/2012
Yes!!! Glad someone get's it. People kill me with this "different culture" crap! I have way more in common with my White middle class, college educated colleges than many of the kids that I went to school with who were Black, economically depressed, and from the projects. It's all about where you are from, your customs, tradttions, music, food, ect.

Heck, I am a military brat, and have always been around and close to a lot of Asians... my diet and spiritual views are much more like them than my southern AME Black family members I grew up around/with.
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cleylol
Mad to live
07:34 PM on 04/07/2012
Why do we make blanket statements about race? I HATE that. Like, "What would happen if you brought a black girl home?" or "How would you react if he brought a black girl home?" They automatically make a decision, without asking themselves, "What is her character like? Is she kind? Is she smart? Is she caring?" Which are the questions they should ask about someone of ANY race, even their own. The assumption that, 'oh no she's black she must be ghetto and undereducated and her family must be horrible' is completely generalized. I, as a biracial girl (though I look more black than white) still know that I am breaking down barriers of people's prejudices whenever I speak--because I speak the king's english. I don't know, man. It's just frustrating.
10:27 PM on 04/07/2012
did you watch the entire clip? they also asked the black kid what his parents would think about him dating a "white" girl. it didnt just focus on a white person dating a black persons perception, open your eyes.
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cleylol
Mad to live
02:19 PM on 04/08/2012
I don't see how that's relevant seeing how the black child was a bit more open than the white child.
02:47 AM on 04/08/2012
That assumption is your own. No one said any of those things. Perhaps it is YOU that thinks of all those characteristics when someone mentions black. Black is just the color of someone's skin. It says nothing of who they are as a person.

The King's English? You mean the Queen's English? Or do you actually live in a country with a King, because that can't be an English-speaking country.
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cleylol
Mad to live
02:18 PM on 04/08/2012
And how shallow of you to think that you have any idea what it's like growing up black in America. What it's like to have people assume you are less and you know less because of their prejudices.
yappnmutt
humping legs for liberty
03:50 PM on 04/07/2012
it is not just inter racial. it is inter religious, also. there are a couple that are really militant about it. both are abrahamic.
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02:17 PM on 04/07/2012
I'm just like Stephen Colbert - I don't see race.
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Kiffanik
01:58 PM on 04/07/2012
"I met someone I like and I'm dating them" is very different from "although I'm black I don't date black people because..." as what typically follows is proof of internalized self-hatred. Because of the colonization of black people many are conditioned to see themselves as less than and judge quality on a spectrum attached to whitness, how close is your hair texture, your skin color, your body to the standard of whiteness our society subscribes to? Stockholm Syndrome is very real. Integration robbed black people of their communities and placed them into direct and forced conflict with people who hated them. It forced dependence on white people for education, for jobs, for justice, for "equality" instead of encouraging empowerment and self-determination within ourselves. People meet and find each other attractive, big deal, but interacting with white people has never done black people any collective good, even in situations of attraction, from Thomas Jefferson to today.
01:58 PM on 04/09/2012
And it depends on how someone has been treated. Some people can't get over the abandoned parent or the mean grandmother so they declare they'll never date within her race and/or pretend they're someone else.
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dancerctry
I love Gardening and Decorating
01:25 PM on 04/07/2012
Are the boy/girlfriends of the other race nice? Are they polite and courteous? Do they share and help? Do they care about the feeling and needs of your child? Are they abusive? Is there an ulterior motive? These are the important things, not race. The father made a good point, he didn't care about the interracial relationships he just wanted to know if his son had an issue with being black. That's reasonable because if that's the reason for dating girls of other races then that needs to be addressed. It's important he is happy with himself. It the character of the girl/boyfriend is good then there isn't a reason they shouldn't date. All relationships have problems sometimes and a couple who truly loves each other finds a way to continue to understand each other and work out those differences. That happens no matter the race of the people involved.
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hharrison22
11:10 PM on 04/06/2012
Really? It's 2012 and we are still having this conversation? I'm part of an interracial marriage and as such, I have a bi-racial child. My son gets the blessing of growing up within two different cultures. Honestly, I'm glad that I live in L.A because it is a melting pot of cultures. I can't ever imagine anyone saying anything even remotely like this.

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com
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dancerctry
I love Gardening and Decorating
01:26 PM on 04/07/2012
Right! Character is what matters not race. If the character of the boy/girlfriend is positive, then there is no reason to deny the relationship.
10:57 PM on 04/06/2012
Although there is a common trend in interracial relationships today, and several cultural aspects in a certain race, within the relationship. I feel that one shouldn't be questioned "Why not your own race?" "Why not your own kind?" I think teens today grasp the concept of dating a different raced individual. But a possible talk with their parents about the different cultural aspects, and possibly religious as well, could be very useful in the future. You also have to take into mind that not very many middle school/high school relationships are not successful.
01:00 AM on 04/07/2012
Seems like culture and religion would be more difficult to mesh as these are our behaviors and believes. Color is easy compared to this.
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10:53 PM on 04/06/2012
Race doesn't exist, so that would be a start. Culture is a big deal. If two people dig each other that much, they should address it seriously and work it out -

it's not the stuff of fairy tales.
mardar35
i'm a liberal...
10:43 PM on 04/06/2012
i have hope for the future generation of children. we can learn alot from them.....unless they're taught to hate, they don't care who you are.
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stape45
No brag, just fact.
10:51 PM on 04/06/2012
Exactly. No one is born a racist.
wetcoastm
Free Speech As Dictated By Our Sponsors
10:32 PM on 04/06/2012
The kids are alright. As long as they are dating a decent person who respect them for who they are and has their own hopes and goals be thankful.

Every generation creates their own new reality and parents need to accept that because their kids are going to move forward in whatever manner they want.