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Keith Olbermann Fired: 29 Things He Can Do Now (PICTURES)

The Huffington Post  |  By Posted: 04/ 5/2012 5:25 pm Updated: 04/ 5/2012 5:26 pm

First MSNBC, now Current. It seems like Keith Olbermann just can't keep "Countdown" on the air these days. But that doesn't mean he needs to throw in the proverbial towel.

While Olbermann might feel a bit empty without a show to host, there are so many things he can do with his newfound free time. To help him out, we compiled 29 suggestions for things he can do to bide his time until he's back on the air.

From working his way up as an NBC page, to producing a one-man off-Broadway show, to starring in the next sequel to "Twins," the possibilities are endless. Just look at all the exciting things Keith can do now:

  • Do some stand-in work for Jeff Daniels on "The Newsroom"
  • Take his political commentary into the world of street graffiti, a la Banksy
  • Insist to Barack Obama that he's one of his campaign advisers, has been all along
  • Watch "Client 9" alone, in the dark, muttering Eliot Spitzer's name over and over again to self
  • Turn "Countdown" into a Kramer-style "Merv Griffin Show" in his apartment
  • Deliver an impassioned, 45-minute rant to bodega employee about the failure of America's promise when given 1% milk rather than skim in coffee
  • Snag a walk-on role on "Anger Management," new Charlie Sheen show
  • Author 800-page coffee table book, "The Authoritative Worst People In The World: An Anthology"
  • Grow a ponytail; take up painting; get frustrated; quit painting
  • Beg on the streets to feud with opponents
  • Buy more mirrors -- a lot more mirrors
  • Apply to have "Countdown" air on Alec Baldwin's closed-circuit security cam
  • Become the new host of "Talk Stoop," shown only in NYC cabs
  • Guest star on Portlandia as rival politician running against Kyle MacLachlan for mayor
  • Become Gawker overnight blogger
  • Move "Countdown" to the Nerdist YouTube Channel
  • Grow 500 feet and stomp all over Manhattan
  • Become NBC page, work way up
  • Do off-Broadway one-man show as Edward R. Murrow
  • Go from sausage company to sausage company until someone pays him to refer to himself as the "Wurst Person in the World" in public
  • Sheepishly ask Sean Hannity if he needs someone to yell at
  • Reinvent self as "Shark Tooth" Olbermann, the leather-clad, brass knuckles-wearing shock jock DJ that isn't afraid to tell it like it is
  • Write spec script for "Quadruplets" with self as fourth sibling
  • Continue to be mad as hell, renegotiate stance on whether or not to take it anymore
  • Join One Direction, record pop song about how many days it's been since George W. Bush declared, "Mission Accomplished"
  • Reemerge as the newest member of Anonymous with mission to hack Al Gore's computer
  • Get hired as new host of show on Cornell's campus-run TV station
  • Wander the streets unkempt, weirding out pedestrians while screaming into a microphone that's clearly not plugged into anything
  • Self-introspection (J/K!)

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