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Edie Falco's Son Thinks Everyone Is Adopted

The Huffington Post  |  By Posted: 04/14/2012 5:02 pm Updated: 04/14/2012 5:02 pm

"Nurse Jackie" actress, Edie Falco, told Anderson Cooper on Thursday that her adopted son, also named Anderson, thinks everyone else was adopted, too.

"My son says, 'So then the lady has the baby in her belly,' and then I said, 'And when the baby comes out she gives the baby to the mommy,'" Falco said.

Anderson, 8, and his younger sister Macy, 4, were both adopted. Falco says she'll let them stick to the "everyone's adopted" theory for awhile. "The fact that some of the ladies keep the babies for their own. We will get to that.”

Eventually, when she does explain how other families are made, Falco says she isn't worried about how her kids will react. "The second you are handed a newborn it is yours. It doesn’t matter what body it came out of. I’ve never felt more strongly about anything in my life," she said.

Falco admits that she never thought of adoption before the time came when she wanted to have kids. "At that time I was single and the idea to adopt came to me. I never really thought about all of the ramifications. I just knew this is what’s happening. It’s only as I travel through I realize each challenge comes up and you deal with it as you get to it," she told Cooper.

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"Nurse Jackie" actress, Edie Falco, told Anderson Cooper on Thursday that her adopted son, also named Anderson, thinks everyone else was adopted, too. "My son says, 'So then the lady has the baby ...
"Nurse Jackie" actress, Edie Falco, told Anderson Cooper on Thursday that her adopted son, also named Anderson, thinks everyone else was adopted, too. "My son says, 'So then the lady has the baby ...
 
 
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Autora
No micro-bio for me, thanks
04:48 PM on 04/17/2012
In a way, Edie's kids have come up with a truth-- there are hundreds of thousands of adopted kids in this country. Probably millions.

I see nothing wrong in allowing them to go on thinking that they are surrounded by other adopted children, when they very well may be. In just about every community, there are adopted kids.

How each person (parent) chooses to address the questions the kids will have as they get older, is best left to them: they know their children, and they know the circumstances which led to the adoption(s) in the first place. There is no one size fits all, when it comes to parenting and children.
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Gary Agner
08:47 AM on 04/17/2012
Wow, all these non-adoptive parents chiming in like they are experts. They have no idea how hard this stuff is, as an adoptive parent of two wonderful girls I am constantly having to think about/worry what to say and how to say it. Edie is doing a great job. If those of you who disagree thoink you can do a better job I am sure your local county has plenty of children awaiting adoption. Put up or shut up
wilsoncombatgrl
Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is forever!
04:38 AM on 04/17/2012
My kids were both adopted as infants and we were very open about their adoptions and they could ask us anything. They also know that if they decide at some point to find their biological parents we will support them 100%. I have two wonderful daughters and they know who cuddled them when they were little, provided a loving home, and encouraged them in school/college. I couldn't have loved a biological child anymore than I love my girls. I think about their birthparents, especially around birthdays, and hope they also have found happiness.
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jandos
Realistically optimistic
05:21 PM on 04/16/2012
I just love her. I have read a couple of other articles about her and she seems so content and happy as a mother. I'm sure they're lucky kids, regardless of her wealth.
09:50 PM on 04/15/2012
Just wondering why my comment, which was negative about Edie Falco, doesn't appear here.
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cafebeege
08:48 PM on 04/15/2012
As a woman who has been a mother and been able to keep and raise my own, it bothers me if I sense anything minimizing, or not acknowledging, the UNimaginable emotional pain a woman must go through giving life to a child by giving birth to them, and THEN unselfishly giving that baby away to hopefully someone who can give it a better life........

In an adopted child's life there are TWO mothers. One who gave them life (birth mother), and one who gave a life to them (who raised/reared) them. I have true compassion for any woman so heroic to not abort (although that is also NOT an easy choice) and then give her baby to another she believes will be better able to care for it. BOTH kinds of mothers deserve respect, and as a women I would like to see us acknowledge both. MUTUAL RESPECT for each other is needed.
08:03 PM on 04/15/2012
Sometimes you never find the right person. Should those children have grown up in orphanages or foster care? As an adoptee, I find the whole "are fathers dispensible" and suchlike commentary pretty offensive. I love my adoptive father and we have a great relationship now, but he made my life hell for most of my childhood; my mother was far more reasonable. And a friend of mine had a bio mom whose alcoholism nearly ruined her life and her dad was sweet reason. Both of us would have been happier in single parent homes. Single parenthood is not the end of the world for a child; sometimes it's pure happiness. Get over it.
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hharrison22
07:33 PM on 04/15/2012
I just have to go on record saying that I don't think that telling her son a lie about adoption is the best thing to do. She has created shame about it by making it a secret. When she does tell him the truth about it, he will wonder why she lied about it. What will she say to that? Kids can handle the truth. Half truths- these are problematic.

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com
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BxGurl0813
What color is the sky in Opposite World?
05:31 PM on 04/16/2012
The kid knows he's adopted. It seems that he came to the conclusion that everyone is adopted all on his own, the way kids do.

I think it's adorable.
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cafebeege
07:03 PM on 04/16/2012
But Bx....... Edie hasn't given the birth mother the acknowledgement or respect she deserves.

I just realized that a younger adult woman I know, who was/is adopted, is just one example of why this kind of story bothers me. Somehow that young woman grew up thinking/assuming, with some anger no less, that her birth mother "didn't want her". She actually said that when asked if she would ever look for her. No one ever explained to her how difficult that must have been for her birth mother to give her up. Kind of selfish on the part of the adoptive parents. And think about how that must be needless pain for that adopted girl. Her whole life, and still, she is assuming/believing she was unwanted. The chances of that were small, but that is what she has believed her whole life. THAT'S horrible.
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arkymorgan
Nobody knows the trouble I've been...
10:20 PM on 04/16/2012
I think you have a reading comprehension problem.

You don't have to go any further than the headline to get that you have completely misread this story.
11:31 AM on 04/15/2012
Hopefully her children will not grow up thinking that fathers are dispensable.
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06:48 PM on 04/15/2012
I am sure her children know that they are very loved and indispensable. As do my adopted granddaughters.

When they are older, they will ask more questions about where they came from and their birth parents. But they will always know they are loved and wanted.
09:58 AM on 04/16/2012
I too, I'm sure her children are loved and wanted and happy.
I wasn't referring to their father, I said "fathers" in general, a reflection about a certain attitude where men are seen just as sperm donors.
09:27 AM on 04/15/2012
I'm not Edie Falco's kid (like, ouch and eww for both of us) but I think that everyone takes lots of drugs. Because I watch Mom on TV.
03:27 PM on 04/16/2012
Whaaaat?
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BxGurl0813
What color is the sky in Opposite World?
05:32 PM on 04/16/2012
I think he's saying he doesn't like Jackie Peyton.
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Exfl
A centrist until the center moved.
11:26 PM on 04/16/2012
Apparently you are taking some drugs if you can't distinguish between an actress and the character she plays on TV.
01:47 AM on 04/18/2012
Obviously you play a doctor on TV yourself. Now get down off there before you fall and hurt yourself.
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Wilhelmina Alston
03:29 AM on 04/15/2012
It is nice to know that he knows that he is adopted, but she should not let him believe that every child is ''given'' away he is surely old enough to understand that ,, she loses her credibility if she prolongs this thought, it will be a shock,,,,,,, its the same as if she withheld the fact that he is adopted and told hem now at this age ,,,,, he needs to know the truth asap...
03:44 AM on 07/15/2012
There is such a thing as TMI. If that is where he is right now, that he just assumes all his friends are adopted as well, what is wrong with that? Most kids no matter what their situation assume everyone else's life is like their own. I sincerely doubt he is looking at it as "given away" as he is not old enough to grasp the concepts of all of that- as far as he is concerned the other mommy was just his route into the world and to his mommy. When he is old enough to start thinking about all the other stuff, being 'given away' etc. it is obvious from how she has handled it so far that she will handle that in her own sensitive way as well. I don't know how you figure it will be some kind of "shock." And to say it is the same as if she withheld the fact that he is adopted? Rubbish! Are you really that ignorant? Too many people overthink it, and give the child way too much info before they are ready for it. They will let you know when they are ready because they will start asking questions. Geez!!
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10:16 PM on 04/14/2012
She is so spot on!!! Loving a child and raising a child makes you a Mom or a Dad not who gave birth to the child. Her children are fortunate to have such a great Mom.
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jozie
Is war about who's right or who's left?
11:35 AM on 04/15/2012
Exactly! When my son first started making the connection between my friend's big bellies and their eventual babies, I told him that he came from my heart instead of my belly. As he understood the mechanics of the situation more, the description still fit.
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isfturtle
10:50 PM on 04/17/2012
That's so cute! :)
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ginadeoliveira2008
Seen a shooting star tonight and I thought of you
09:48 PM on 04/14/2012
What a lovely way to talk to an adopted child about his/her birth and a mother's love for him/her. You must be a great mom Edie.
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WhereIsTheTruth
We need more chlorine in the gene pool!
12:30 AM on 04/15/2012
I've always loved the idea of focusing the child on the fact that the adoptive parent chose them. After all, everyone wants to be wanted!
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ginadeoliveira2008
Seen a shooting star tonight and I thought of you
01:01 PM on 04/15/2012
You're right, that's the key. What surprised me was how gentle a way she found with the words. That's the stuff fairytales are made of, children are so willing to recognize the truth in it!
09:18 AM on 04/18/2012
Just because a child was relinquished doesn't mean that he wasn't loved and wanted by the natural family.
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KevinFletcherTweedy
seriously approaching curmudgeon-ness
06:22 PM on 04/14/2012
I guess it's no worse than Santa Claus. :) I sort of like the notion that some "ladies keep the babies for their own." Go, Edie!
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06:51 PM on 04/15/2012
I like your micro bio. My dad considered himself a curmudgeon in training. We considered him adorable.
03:29 PM on 04/16/2012
Yeah, so why is she waiting to tell the child that. He seems old enough. I am afraid, if she waits too long, the child will assume she kept it from him because there is something wrong with being adopted - which there isn't.
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Gwens
Well done is better than well said."
03:57 PM on 04/17/2012
And when you adopt a child that decision will be yours to make.
03:50 AM on 07/15/2012
Why would you think that? She is telling him what he wants to know and keeping it age appropriate. At his age do you REALLY believe it is the time to get into the fact that some women keep the babies for their own, and have him start wondering why that didn't happen with him? I disagree that he seems old enough. When he is old enough he will ask questions about that sort of thing, and it can be explained to him in sensitive terms that he can understand. At his age how can he grasp the concept of how some women are able to keep their babies and some arent? And the way they talk about it all the time and he just assumes it is normal- suddenly he is going to assume something is wrong with adoption because she didn't give him more info than he could handle at the time? I think she is doing it perfectly and does not need to be criticized. He is HER son. SHE KNOWS him and knows where he is and what he is ready to talk about. YOU do not.