Why Do Men Cheat? (VIDEO)

What leads some men to cheat?

In the YourTango "Ask an Expert" video above, relationship coach LiYana Silver reveals what she believes is a common cause of infidelity.

"We think it has to do with sex -- that men trade up for a younger, or thinner, or hotter, or blonder babe," she says. "Sex is important, it's on the list, it's just not at the top of the list."

The number one reason men cheat, according to Silver? "Lack of emotional appreciation."

Watch the video above for tips on how to demonstrate emotional appreciation and tell us what you think in the comments.

Related Links:
How To Move On From A Painful Breakup
Help! I'm Divorce But Still Wearing My Wedding Ring [VIDEO]
12 Myths You Shouldn’t Believe About Therapy, Sex & Infidelity

Comments

[GiftBasketGuru]

03:34 PM on 05/13/2012

I think this is an excellent video Liyana. You must have the luckiest husband ever!

Jane Alman
http://www.mygiftbasketideas.com

[Lynnet McKenzie]

02:20 PM on 05/02/2012

Hi LiYana. Love your video. I have found your answer to be very true. I used to think I could get my partner to show up more emotionally or sexually by talking to him about it and asking clearly for what I wanted. This really shut him down instead. Focusing on what he was doing that I really love is what turned things around. The more I appreciated him, the more he rose up to please me.
Since this discovery a few years ago, my relationships with men have really improved. I used to think men were difficult to get along with. Now I know they LOVE to support and even serve me. And my partner's emotional and sexual focus is intensely focused on me in a most delicious, abundantly wonderful way :)

[Brianne Grogan]

05:35 AM on 05/02/2012

I completely agree, LiYana --- MY man, at least, requires appreciation, a "pat on the back," regular acknowledgement of a job well done (or a well-put together outfit, or a particularly slim-looking day)... He thrives off of it! I've had to learn to give him what he needs, or he becomes sulky and reclusive. Thank you for this video --- you're right on.

[Charles R Anderson]

02:51 AM on 05/02/2012

Like it or not, men evolved to take care of women and children. Most men need a strong sense of being useful to the care and protection of women and children. But, they want positive feedback in the form of appreciation, just as LiYana says. As usual, she is right on target.

[H ortiz]

11:48 PM on 05/01/2012

HELL YES! you got it down liyana! it's like I go out of my way to write the notes, send the txt, email the "10 things I love about you" out of genuine love, do the massage and try to answer the "so what do you like about me" as genuine as possible, but then I ask her why she loves being with me.. and it's lie "uh.. ..uhmm.."
(it's not that my woman doesn't love me, she does) but I'd like to feel seen and appreciated for the drumm beatin', artful writtin', powerful beast that I am too! ...
I don't see her expertise in articulating those things in words, or even an expertise in "communication" . Most of the time it's information dump, then I hear stuff like "why are you so quiet, share something with me" and when I start to, I get interrupted after the second sentence.. whooogh... (I guess I was holding on to that one! :P) Either way I love my woman, AND you're absolutely right. (blowjobs have a lot to do with it too)

[greengirl208]

11:32 AM on 05/01/2012

What is "the one who got away" excuse? I have an old boyfriend who friended me on Facebook who told me this and that led to emailing and entreaties for a rendezvous although he's been married for over 30 years, great wife, great life. Is emailing cheating? Is the desire to make a connection cheating? I don't know but I saw it that way. Thought he was playing with fire and finally had to put the kabosh on the whole thing.

[liyanasilver]

07:26 PM on 05/01/2012

LiYana here, the one in the video. ;-) If it felt like cheating to you, then it was. I acknowledge you for honoring your own feelings about it, as well as honoring his wife, even though you never corresponded with her. Sisterhood is important.

[vakman]

09:07 AM on 05/01/2012

As a married man I have a theory how about because they are a**holes

[liyanasilver]

07:28 PM on 05/01/2012

LiYana here, the one who made the video. I respectfully disagree; certainly some men are mean, hurtful and vindictive, but most men are truly good, in my experience. They may do some crappy things, but with some emotional maturity, a desire to grow and be a better man, and a woman or partner who treats him with dignity and respect, goodness tends to out.

[Professor Wagstaff]

02:27 AM on 05/01/2012

I just read the Married Women Sex Survey article in HP that mentions that 63% of married women would rather sleep than have sex. I believe this answers the question.

[ILoveGreatDanes]

08:02 PM on 04/29/2012

I cheated on my ex-girlfriend (I'm a woman) because I wasn't getting sex at home. I never cheated with anyone else, and I'm happily married now.

[riverhouse]

10:45 AM on 04/29/2012

Men and women both cheat for the exact same reason: lack of character.

[tkns]

04:48 AM on 04/29/2012

Because there is a woman available.

[Joster GG]

08:50 PM on 04/28/2012

as far as Marriage goes Men get the better deal. Not always but most of the time

[mrportman]

12:57 PM on 05/01/2012

And that's why most males are so excited about it all their lives, day dreaming about their future wife and house!

[Beverly Pollacksilver]

05:30 PM on 04/27/2012

This is a sweet, down to earth answer and so true!

[Crystal Ware]

01:12 PM on 04/27/2012

Go to the selfless chick who makes you the center of HER universe at her own expense and I am sure that you will cheat on her too. Whatever.

[ilus77]

08:08 AM on 04/30/2012

How very true.

[mrportman]

12:58 PM on 05/01/2012

Yea cuz it's only men that cheat...

[Crystal Ware]

01:10 PM on 04/27/2012

Because they can, isn't that what Clinton said?

[Joster GG]

08:49 PM on 04/28/2012

And that was probably the best answer of why men are such cheaters.

[H ortiz]

11:52 PM on 05/01/2012

If only men cheat... who are they doing all the cheating with?? lol. and why are (at least) 10% of children born of a father who isn't their own, without the man knowing?? Men and Women cheat, we're human, let go of the anger and pain, it serves no one, especially it's host