This Saturday, NBA retiree and doctoral candidate Shaquille O'Neal will toss his graduation cap with fellow students from Miami Shores' Barry University.
“Kids can still call me Shaq, but adults should call me Dr. O’Neal," he told the Miami Herald -- but has all the schooling worked, or does the gregarious guy just play dumb to entertain us?
We totally expect it's the latter. The 'Big Aristotle' will receive an Ed.D in organizational learning and leadership at the James L. Knight Center with more than 1,200 other students. Though Shaq left Louisiana State early to pursue a career with the NBA, he returned in 2000 to finish his degree (the school recently erected "the best sculpture in the country" in his honor). And in 2005, Shaq earned his MBA from the University of Phoenix.
Still, with all that homework behind him, Shaq says a lot of dumb stuff. Besides hating on the Heat -- see him bash our beloved Chris Bosh below -- he's messed up math, screwed up spelling, and generally made a few hilariously obtuse comments. Click below for a few of our favorite Shaq-isms, deliberate and otherwise:
"I've won at every level, except college and pro." -Shaquille O'Neal, before winning an NBA title
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
"The print media, they gonna hype it up. NBC's gonna hype it up. ESPN's gonna hype it up. The China stations gonna hype it up. Yugoslavia stations gonna hype it up. Everybody's gonna hype it up and we'll be the most televised watched game in the history of all sports." -- Shaquille O'Neal on the Heat-Lakers game. There hadn't been a country called Yugoslavia since 2003.
"My game is like the Pythagorean theorem, no one has an answer." - Shaquille O'Neal The Pythagorean theorem is a2 + b2 = c2.
"The people that know me, they know what time it is and they know what The Diesel is coming to do. Period. P-U-R-E-D. Period." - Shaquille O'Neal about his basketball abilities
When <a href="http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2011/09/shaquille_oneals_miami_beach_p_1.php" target="_hplink">applying for the Miami Beach Police Department</a>, he wrote the following when asked about special skills and equipment: "Laptop computer, binnochulars (sic), master of surveillance."
Shaq miscalculates his free throw percentage in this exchange with Charles Barkley: <br /> Shaq: "18 for 39 is over 50 percent." <br /> Charles Barkley: "Dude!" <br /> Shaq: "18 plus 18 is 36, and I went 18 for 39... you're right, my bad."
WATCH: You mess with Bosh, you mess with the rest of us: