Long Distance Marriage: Experts Explain Why Commuter Marriages Are On The Rise

Would your marriage last if you lived thousands of miles away from your spouse?

According to data from the 2006 U.S. Census, more than 3.5 million married couples -- a 30 percent increase since 1990 -- are living apart for reasons other than a legal separation.

But if the point of getting married is to be together, why are so many couples nowadays living miles apart?

Tina Tessina, author of "The Commuter Marriage," says that the job market is to blame for the increase in long-distance marriages. "It does affect marriages and it does create more commuter marriages. People drive longer distances to get a job. People are laid off from work and they have to relocate to get a job," she recently told local news station WOAI.

Other experts suggest that the shaky job market isn't the only thing keeping couples apart. The real estate market may also have a lot to do with it.

Karla Bergen, Assistant Professor in the Communications department at the College of Saint Mary in Omaha, told WOAI, "The real estate market is really depressed, so the other partner ends up staying behind until the house sells."

While couples -- and often their children -- must struggle with the task of maintaining long-distance marriage, that doesn't mean these families are doomed. Modern technology can help couples stay in touch and maintain constant communication, which Bergen says is key.

Watch the video above to learn more about long-distance marriages.

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Related on HuffPost: Unusual marriage advice from our readers, below.

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Comments

[Jane87]

05:59 PM on 06/28/2012

I just read through all your posts. Thank you for sharing them. It helps to know you are not the only one out there in a long distance relationship.
I live in the UK and I just started the second year of my work-sponsored PhD, my husband lives in the US and is doing the first year of his four year program. We got married last year and have probably only spent a total of 3-4 months with one another since our marriage. A long distance relationship (not to mention marriage) is really difficult to handle. We both hate this arrangement, however neither one of us can move to live with other unless a major compromise takes place. I tried transferring to the US and was basically told I would have to start from scratch as a matter of fact they would require me to do additional tests and I may or may not be accepted. He on the other hand can't move to the UK because his speciality doesn't exist there. So far we have been relying heavily on Skype and the plan is to see each other at least twice a year. We are struggling but somehow coping. Not a day goes by without me asking is it really worthwhile? should I just quit and move? Will the arrangement affect our marriage in the long-run? I guess only time will tell...

[FutureMrsPanda]

11:31 PM on 06/23/2012

I graduated from college in August of 2011, and moved to California to live with my then-fiancee and try to find a job ASAP. There was NOTHING for me there and a new graduate RN. Everyone wanted someone with experience. We were married in March, and on my birthday (May 11th) I had to move back to Texas to work. We have only been living apart a little over a month, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. He is looking for a job here. We will have to rent out his condo once he gets a job here, because we can't afford to sell it. In fact, there's a good chance that once he gets a job here (as in, in Texas), we will still be living three hours apart. :(

[outabout]

02:46 PM on 06/02/2012

My husband had to move from our home in WI to the Ohio border in IN for work. He, as well as many others, had to when the factory here closed. We can't sell our house, every one is moving out, not in. He comes back every other weekend, so I see him 4 days a month. I hate the arrangement and so does he but we have no choice. He's been driving back and forth (5 1/2 hours one way) for two years now, we have 3-4 years to go before he can retire and come home for good. Unless we can sell our house and I move there before.

[nopalitos]

01:04 PM on 05/05/2012

I live in CA and my husband lives in KY. For now, this is how it is. We are working on one of us eventually moving. So not going to say it's always easy, but we have no kids, do talk and "see" each other every day, and after almost three years, we've got a routine going.

And I do agree with this assessment, "...there can be a surprising benefit to commuter arrangements. It can refresh a marriage that's stale because people have been together all the time and there's nothing new happening and suddenly you get that rush of 'Wow I've missed you!'"