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The Facebook IPO Drinking Game

The Huffington Post  |  By Posted: Updated: 05/18/2012 12:48 am

Facebook Ipo Drinking Game

You might have heard that Facebook has its IPO on Friday. Now, depending on your preferences, you could earnestly follow this huge story, digging through all of the television, web, and print coverage for nuanced, original perspective; or you could use the day as an excuse to get absolutely blitzed starting the moment you wake up and turn on your TV (assuming you're 21-plus, of course).

If the latter sounds like you, then HuffPost's got you covered: Here are our rules for a Facebook IPO Drinking Game. The first of the Facebook IPO drinking game is, you shouldn't actually follow these rules, of course, or else you will almost certainly be hospitalized (or worse). The second rule is, if you got in on the IPO, you're buying the drinks (hat tip Twitter user @joxman).

And now, the Facebook IPO Drinking Game (to be coupled with our not-to-be-missed Facebook IPO Bingo):

EVENTINSTRUCTIONS
Someone says "hoodie"Take a shot.
Someone says "Harvard dorm room"Take a shot.
Someone says "college dropout"Take a shot.
Someone says "billionaire"Take a shot.
Someone manages to work "hoodie," "Harvard dorm room," "college dropout" and "billionaire" into one complete, coherent sentence.Take four shots, you hoodie-wearing college dropout billionaire in your Harvard dorm room, YOU!
Mention of "tech bubble"Blow bubbles with straw into your drink
Mention of "MySpace"Open up that bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade that's been in the back of your fridge since 2006.
Mention of how Facebook could end up like MySpace because we are in a tech bubbleChug (especially if you're an investor).
Bloomberg asks Justin Bieber if he's in on "Facebook Fever"Cry.
B-roll shots from Zuck's Facebook profile, which will inevitably feature him and his girlfriendTake a shot and proceed to Facebook-stalk your exes (while ruefully listening to "Baby You're A Rich Man")
Mention of Jesse EisenbergScowl, hunch shoulders while sipping
Mention of Eduardo SaverinFix yourself a Singapore Sling
Mention of Winklevoss twinsSteal your friend's drink, claim you invented the cocktail
Pundit: "This is the IPO of the year!"One drink.
Pundit: "This is the IPO of the decade!"Two drinks.
Pundit: "This is the IPO of the millennium!"Three drinks, in the future, where this pundit is clearly living
Cancer Genetics, Friday's other company going public, gets any attention at allPour out a 40
"Will investors 'like' Facebook?"Drink.
"Will investors 'friend' Facebook?"Two drinks.
"Will investors get drunk and send Facebook twenty messages asking why it's not returning their calls, and also, who is that *guy* in all of their new pictures?"Seriously, who is that guy? (Cry).
"The $100 Billion Dollar Question"Take 100 billion drinks.
"The $25 Billion Dollar Man"Take 25 billion drinks.
Realize that Mark Zuckerberg, at 28, is worth 25 billion dollars and is running a 100 billion dollars companyChug, then cry, then chug again

And while we're at it, here are some Facebook IPO news stories from your favorite publications and writers to look out for on Friday:

STORY
Business Insider: "Here's the REAL REASON to be worried about the Facebook IPO"
BuzzFeed: "25 People Who Don't Know What A Facebook IPO Is"
Slate: "Why Facebook Isn't Even The Most Important IPO Happening Today"
NY Times: "In Facebook IPO, Both Optimism and Pessimism"
Huffington Post: "27 Sideboobs From the Facebook IPO [PHOTOS] [SLIDESHOW] [HORROR]"
Digitimes: "Supply Chain Checks Show Bigger, Faster Facebook IPO Coming In Q4"
Gawker: "Who Gives A Sh*t About Facebook's Bullsh*t F*cking IPO?"
Fox Nation: "Facebook Files For IPO In Attempt To Boost Barack Hussein Obama's Fading Appeal Among Food Stamp Drug Addict Felons"
Mike Daisey: "I'm Live Inside Facebook's Headquarters Standing Next To Mark Zuckerburg"
Michael Arrington: "Facebook Is A Great, Strong Company You Should Definitely Invest In (Disclosure: I Am An Investor In Facebook)"
Thomas Friedman: "The Woman Who Gave Me A Hot Stone Massage Here In Monaco Has Some Good Advice For Mark Zuckerburg"
Newsweek: "America's First Gay IPO?"

Also on HuffPost:

If you're just plain sick of Facebook, here are 10 hipper alternatives you should try out.
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  • Pinterest

    Certainly the hottest new social network, Pinterest doesn't have all the functions and features of Facebook quite yet -- basically, you're just posting photos to your different boards, which you can categorize by interest or hobby or whatever. You can also follow your friends' boards and comment on their pins. And that's it. Pinterest is a simple, visual concept that has a huge, vibrant community of active users. It <a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/02/07/pinterest-monthly-uniques/" target="_hplink">hit 10 million users faster</a> than any other social network and is now the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/06/pinterest-traffic-growth_n_1408088.html" target="_hplink">third most popular social network</a> in America, trailing only Facebook and Twitter. <br> <br> You can <a href="http://pinterest.com/" target="_hplink">request an invitation to join Pinterest here</a>.

  • Tagged

    Tagged has a remarkably similar arc to Facebook: Also founded in 2004, and also originally tageted at young people, Tagged is now open to everyone and allows you to customize your profile, play games, message friends, post photos, and meet new people. It has more than 300 million users and more than twenty million monthly active users -- not too shabby, and perhaps worth a look if you want a robust Facebook alternative that's not going anywhere. To see what Tagged is all about, check out this video introduction for beginners. You can <a href="http://www.tagged.com/?" target="_hplink">sign up for Tagged here</a>.

  • Path

    Path is one of several new social networks that seeks to improve on Facebook by making the experience more private and personal: Users are limited to 150 friends on the mobile-only service. A user is instructed to only add his or her closest friends, or anyone you'd invite to your birthday party; the average Path user <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/business/path-familyleaf-and-pair-small-by-design-social-networks.html" target="_hplink">has 40 connections</a>. Path is sort of like a daily online journal that you open to your friends: You can post photos and videos using your smartphone's camera, update your location, share what songs you're listening to and more. Path has been praised for its intimate feeling and clean design. For more on this social network and its mission statement, check out the introductory YouTube video. (Ignore the Thai -- it's in English). <br> <br> You must have an iPhone or Android phone to participate in Path; a BlackBerry app is apparently on its way. Path has about a million active users, per a <em>recent <em>New York Times</em> article</em>.

  • Pair

    Speaking of intimacy: Pair is a social network in which you can only have one connection, as its name implies. Pair is a sharing service for couples (or really good friends, I suppose), available on Android and iPhone. It takes privacy to the extreme: Pair calls itself a "timeline for just the two of you, where you can post cute video messages and photos that no one else will see." Your significant other may be forcing you to join it any day now. On Pair, you can share photos, videos, location, and to-do lists; you can also play Tic-Tac-Toe with one another and draw sketches in real-time. One of the most precious features of Pair is its "thumbprint" feature, on which you and your partner can virtually press your thumbs together. Like Pair as a whole, you will probably either find this adorable or schmaltzy. Path is available for free <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pair/id503663173?mt=8" target="_hplink">in iTunes</a> and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tenthbit.juliet" target="_hplink">the Google Play store</a>.

  • Highlight

    The number of social networks based on your current location, and your proximity to other users of an mobile application, is on the rise. These "social-location-mobile" (SoLoMo) apps dominated the recent South by Southwest festival, and the app that got the most press was Highlight. Highlight is iPhone only, and the mobile app hooks up with your Facebook and notifies you when you are near a friend, or a friend of a friend, or another Highlight user with similar interests. You can view this person's Highlight profile, and if you're intrigued, you can message that person and perhaps make a new friend or connection. Highlight CEO Paul Davison explains the app to Anderson Cooper in the accompanying YouTube video. Highlight is <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/highlight/id441534409?mt=8" target="_hplink">available for free in iTunes</a>.

  • Circle

    Circle is, like Highlight, an app that tells you who's around you; unlike Highlight, it has a very pleasant design and lots of options for what information you share publicly and who can see you. You sign up for Circle with your Facebook account; the iPhone-only app shows you when Facebook friends are nearby, and also when friends of friends are close. You can choose to toggle on and off public visibility, if you don't want to be visible to friends of friends. Your profile shows your different Facebook networks (your college, high school, hometown, etc.) and you also have a mini-bio with your name, relationship status and interests. All of this can be toggled on and off as well. Circle is available <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/circle-whos-around-you/id488720081?mt=8" target="_hplink">on iTunes</a>.

  • Kismet

    Another social location app for your iPhone, Kismet shows you who's around and lets you chat with your nearby neighbors; it also allows users to check in on Foursquare and see which other Kismet users are at their location. Kismet boasts a nice map view, which allows you to see a broad view of other Kismet users around you; there's also an invitation feature that allows you to invite your friends and other users to meet up at a certain place and certain time. You can <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/kismet/id490929215?mt=8" target="_hplink">download Kismet for iPhone here</a>.

  • Ban.jo

    Our final SoLoMo app (and hopefully the last time I will ever have to write "SoLoMo" ever again) is Ban.jo, which differentiates itself by being available for iPhone AND Android AND on the web. Accessibility! Aside from cross-OS availability, Ban.jo is more of the same: See who's currently around you in list or map view, message nearby folks, check in and update LinkedIn, Twitter, Foursquare and Facebook. Ban.jo is also the only one of these apps publicizing the number of users it has: Its press kit claims that Ban.jo has over one million users worldwide in 185 countries. You can download Ban.jo <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ban-jo/id417076117" target="_hplink">for the iPhone</a> or <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.banjo.android" target="_hplink">for Android</a>; you can also <a href="http://app.ban.jo/?__utma=18700074.216795228.1337200636.1337200636.1337200636.1&__utmb=18700074.4.10.1337200636&__utmc=18700074&__utmx=-&__utmz=18700074.1337200636.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=204321424" target="_hplink">try it out at Ban.jo's website</a>.

  • Nextdoor

    Nextdoor is a social network for neighbors and neighborhoods. You join with your home address and are immediately placed into a home neighborhood; all of your connections, and all the content you see in your feed, comes from those that live near you. You don't have to make your address visible to your neighbors, but you do have to verify that you live there with Nextdoor in order to use the site. After you join, using Nextdoor is like a mix of browsing Craigslist and using your community bulletin board. You can find out what's happening in your 'hood and get recommendations for different local businesses and services; there's also a classifieds section for buying and selling. You can check out Nextdoor's pitch in the accompanying video. You can <a href="http://nextdoor.com/" target="_hplink">sign up for Nextdoor for free here</a>.

  • Roamz

    A mobile app for Android and iPhone, Roamz brings in information from Twitter, Foursquare, Instagram and Facebook to let you know what cool stuff is happening around you -- "where the locals go," it claims. That's the real draw of Roamz. It's a social network where you can post status updates and photos and also get information about the places nearby. Check out a video for the app -- which its creators call "Social Googles for the Real World" -- on the left. You can download Roamz for <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/roamz/id459343660?mt=8" target="_hplink">free for iPhone</a> or <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.roamz.app&feature=search_result#?t=W251bGwsMSwxLDEsImNvbS5yb2Ftei5hcHAiXQ.." target="_hplink">for Android</a>.

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