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Anthony Bourdain Admits That He Would Eat A Human, Offers Instructions For Cooking Unicorn

Posted: Updated: 05/21/2012 11:40 pm

Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain stopped by Brooklyn's The Great GoogaMooga Festival this weekend and as always, shared a lot of candid opinions about topics from Paula Deen to why you should make a good omelette (hint: it will impress a woman). Although he has ranted about many of the topics previously, the crowd continued to love his crassness and lack of sugar-coating.

On Olive Garden, Bourdain said that he would take a "big f*cking can of gasoline" to soak the place and burn it down -- that's how bad they make pasta. He had similar sentiments for the James Beard house. "Why don't they turn the house into something useful like a methadone clinic," he asked.

He also had some rather practical thoughts on the subject on cannibalism. An audience member posed a bizarre hypothetical situation: if he and Bourdain were trapped in a cave, would Bourdain eat him? "F*ck yeah," Bourdain said without hesitation. He added that if they were trapped on a boat with a bunch of his chef friends and this guy wasn't pulling his weight, he would have no problem cooking him as a slow braise. Bourdain was asked straight up if he would eat a human. "Yes, yes, I f*cking would." It wouldn't be his first option though -- he'd eat a bag of Doritos first.

When someone later asked Bourdain which person he would most like to deep fry, he had a detailed idea. First, he would waterboard Dick Cheney. Then he would deep fry his head, f*ck him up the ass and then he'd cook him. Whoa.

And, of course, there was a snipe at Paula Deen. He brought up a time back before she admitted she had diabetes, when she was still "licking icing off of Robert Irvine's stomach." Apparently, Deen once said that she wouldn't pay too much mind to Bourdain since he once ate a warthog rectum. Bourdain thought that there was "possibly a subtext" to her comment in that warthog anus was eaten in Africa. He didn't elaborate much beyond pausing before saying "in Africa."

He had harsh words for foie gras protestors who have called chefs at home, sent photos of their children in their backyards and committed acts of vandalism. "I would f*cking eat it [foie gras] for the rest of my life out of sheer spite," he said.

Perhaps the strangest -- and cutest -- part of the session was when a little girl asked Bourdain how he would cook a unicorn. He would roast the loin, grill the legs, braise the forequarter and use the horn to pick your teeth with after the meal. For the record, unicorn marrow is delicious, he says.

Also, Bourdain said that he has never before sexted but if you are really interested in seeing a picture of his junk, you can find it at TMZ.

Watch Bourdain talking about Paula Deen at GoogaMooga:


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Filed by Carey Polis  |