"Battleship" hit theaters this weekend, and the film -- directed by Peter Berg and starring Rihanna, as the unlikely face behind the gun, and Taylor Kitsch, as the even more unlikely man in charge -- appears to be yet another critical shipwreck. While HuffPost Entertainment's own Mike Ryan loved the would-be blockbuster enough to compose a (sincere, we think) love letter in tribute to its charms, the majority of reviewers sided with Kyle Smith of the New York Post, who snarked, "It makes 'Top Gun' look like the work of Orson Welles."
Elsewhere in movie-critic land, the Los Angeles Times whomped "What to Expect When You're Expecting," the San Francisco Chronicle manhandled Morgan Spurlock's "Mansome" (try saying that five times fast) and the AV Club dismissed "Hysteria" as little more than a collection of "cheap laughs." Even "The Dictator," from erstwhile critical darling Sacha Baron Cohen, was panned by Slate for leaving the viewer "neither laughing nor shocked."
Musicians came under fire too, with the AV Club categorizing Norah Jones as a "fascinating boring musician," and house music producer Deadmau5 informing DJ Pauly D that his new sizzle reel has "nothing really creative about it."
Can these ink-stained wretches all be right? Are this week's offerings the cultural equivalent of the Spanish Armada in 1588? Or do some of these folks need some sunshine and a back massage? Let us know in the comments which critical torpedoes landed and which fell wide of the mark.