Michael Stolar, Guy Who Sent Dating Survey, Speaks Out

It started much like any other finance industry dating story gone viral. A girl forwards some sort of absurd communication -- a 1,600 word e-mail after one date, a post-date evaluation survey, or an Excel spreadsheet -- from a finance guy she went out with and the Internet commences mocking the self-aggrandizement that's become emblematic of Wall Street types.

Except, this time, the "finance guy" in question -- who was dubbed "creepy" by Deadspin for sending a survey to a woman he went on four dates with -- isn't waiting for his 15 minutes of Internet fame to pass while hoping no one learns his real identity.

No, Michael Stolar has gone public with both his name, and his side of the story in a lengthy post on the Atlantic Wire. The post includes a screen grab of the original e-mail Stolar sent to his date as evidence that the whole survey thing was tongue-in-cheek.

"As you can see it is dripping in sarcasm and I had to apologize in it for fear of coming off as patronizing," Stolar told the Atlantic Wire, adding that after it appeared on Deadspin, subsequent iterations of the story moved further from the truth.

"As the story grew I got a promotion each time it was picked up by a new outlet," Stolar wrote. "It peaked with TIME Business comparing me to Gordon Gecko and the guy from American Psycho. Unreal, right? Considering I don't work in equity finance."

• Click over to the Atlantic Wire to read their interview with Michael Stolar and see the full email he sent with the original survey.

To be fair, Amy Tennery, the author of the post that appeared on TIME's website, did ask the question of whether banker types are judged more harshly than other men as a result of all the anger that gets directed at Wall Street.

"Men in other quote-un-quote prestige fields rarely suffer the same stigma" she writes. "'Creepy doctor' dates? That’s not really a 'thing.' Sure, they happen — but rarely is the phrase 'that's what you get for going out with a doctor!' uttered when someone recounts a terrible date with an MD," she wrote.

Comments

[badboyxyz]

05:45 PM on 06/13/2012

hes just a young yuppie jerk but hes not the only one ... there are girls out there just as bad if not worse , like the one who won't date a guy that doesn't have an i phone or my personal favorite that i heard ....two girls talking.... one to the other ..... YOU'LL REALLY LIKE HIM , HE DRIVES AN "I" SERIES

[AngelaWasHere]

05:25 PM on 06/13/2012

I read the original story (article) when it first ran. I thought his questions were hysterical and didn't know why anyone took it so seriously. (Then again, I also LOVE "Hot Problems" and think of Double Trouble along similar lines as "Self Righteous Brothers" or "Dead Milkmen", but I digress.) Anyhoo, I hope he continues giving out his survey and finds his true love (and someone with a similar sense of humor). Go get 'em, Survey Guy! :)

[pslcitizen]

03:02 PM on 06/13/2012

Survey says...wrong answer!

[fifiwereking]

02:47 PM on 06/13/2012

more proof that the internet promotes disrespect and incivility...

by what right, and for what purpose, did this woman feel the need to broadcast this on the internet? there can be no other purpose than to hurt and humiliate a man who seemingly did nothing to deserve either... ironically, all this "sharing" serves only to kill intimacy - why be open and honest with someone only to risk exploitation of things you consider personal? giving the inside scoop on your dates is incredibly disrespectful of that person's privacy, unless you feel the need to warn others that someone's behavior is dangerous or harmful in any way...

in any case, i don't find stolar's actions creepy at all - maybe a little eccentric, but in a good way... the email is clearly humorous, and a dating survey isn't a bad idea... after one or a few dates that go nowhere, how many of us ask ourselves what went wrong? wouldn't it be great to get an answer? if there's a behavior of yours that's routinely misinterpreted, wouldn't you like to know? if you misinterpreted something an otherwise great guy said or did, wouldn't you like to know that, too, and maybe give them a second chance? instead, most of us are left hanging, and stung by the experience... go michael!

[natal plum]

12:47 PM on 06/13/2012

Who says you can't get more than 15 minutes for being a creep? He probably looked at all the publicity the tanorexic mom got and figured why not get on the bandwagon with some shameless self promotion

[gfybuddy]

10:41 AM on 06/13/2012

I forgot all about this story until he made a comment reminding everybody that he is a d----e bag.

[AskAprildotcom]

11:37 AM on 06/11/2012

Odd. Very much so. Still, different strokes for different folks. relationship advice forum http://www.askapril.com/forums/

[Bob Morrow]

11:40 AM on 05/22/2012

I read the article...he's still creepy.

[jf12]

09:40 PM on 05/21/2012

That's what you get for going out with a doctor.

[gfybuddy]

10:37 AM on 06/13/2012

i'm not a gyno but i'll take a look

[pslcitizen]

03:03 PM on 06/13/2012

lol