Everybody's talking about the "Zombie Apocalypse," and even those in fine dining are having a laugh with it.

Take Maynard James Keenan for example. To the public eye, he's the frontman for the rock bands Tool and A Perfect Circle. In his off time, he's a winery owner -- and today he answers the age-old undead question: What wine goes best with human flesh?

He recently offered wine recommendations to would-be zombies who want to wash their down their brains with something besides blood, at the behest of the Miami News Times.

Keenan believes that if someone is chewing human face, a pinot noir is best -- except when you're eating the nose.

"That's mainly cartilege so you're better off with beer. It's more aligned with hotdogs or bratwurst," he told the Times. "That's true of the nose as well as the lips."

On the other hand, oenophile zombies who are going straight for the tongue are better served with shiraz.

"The tongue is heartier and is going to have a little gamier of texture," he told the paper. "I'd go with a larger shiraz with some oak in it. Barolo, if you serve it raw. If you serve it raw with olive oil and herbs, you'll want a Barolo."

It may seem tasteless to pair wines with human body parts, but it's a subject that has been up for debate, at least in popular culture, since Hannibal Lecter spoke of dining on human liver with fava beans and "a nice Chianti" in the 1991 horror classic "Silence Of The Lambs."

However, Washington D.C.-based wine buff Chris McGurn thinks that's a bad choice.

"I would personally avoid this, as the Chianti might be a little too light for the fattiness of the liver," he told The Huffington Post. "A Barolo would be a much better choice of Italian wine."

Brains are considered the body part of choice for discerning zombies. Damien Casten -- who runs Candid Wines, a distributor of small production wines in Chicago -- recommends consuming them with a chenin blanc from Saumur or a chardonnay from the Maconais in Burgundy.

"Of course, this assumes that you are simmering the brain in a cream sauce," he said. "This also assumes that you have time to treat the brains gently, and that will often mean soaking them in milk for a few hours."

Meanwhile, former wine shop owner and confirmed foodie Laurie Chambers Laizure believes that aspiring zombies would best be served -- literally -- by pairing wines from the same region as the person being consumed.

"Grape flesh, like human, is largely water-based. As such, the varietal as well as what it absorbs through its environment will be large contributors in how that tastes," she said. "Other factors might be age, physical and health condition. For instance, an overweight woman non-smoker should taste far superior to a muscle bound man who smokes."

But Nic Pelaez, a sommelier at Saltbox Dining & Drinking in San Diego, disagrees. He said that smokers are the best humans to pair with wine.

"For pairing purposes, I would recommend picking a meaty person who has tobacco notes -- a smoker -- as well as someone who enjoyed berries throughout their life," he said. "Also, the lazier the better -- they’re more tender. So stick to couch potatoes and videogamers."

Meanwhile, Casten believes that cooking method -- or lack thereof -- is important to consider.

"I'd guess that uncooked face is texturally pretty chewy with a fair amount of muscle. If there is no time to braise, I'd need a ton of acid to cut through the 'meat,' so I'm going to pull a magnum of young Grosses Gewachs (grand cru) riesling and drink all I can before the bullets start flying."

Like all of the people interviewed, Casten has never actually sampled human flesh and is not a zombie. He was quick to add that he never expected to use the knowledge he gained working in French restaurants to recommend that reisling and face might pair well.

"I'm going to throw up now," he said.

INFAMOUS CANNIBALS GALLERY
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  • Albert Fish

    This serial killer and child rapist may have been the inspiration for the fictional Hannibal Lecter. Fish was executed in 1936 in connection with the kidnapping and murder of 10-year-old Grace Budd, after police traced a letter Fish wrote to the girl's parents in which he detailed killing and eating their daughter. Credit: AP

  • Alferd Packer

    In November 1873, Pennsylvania-born Alferd Packer went on a gold-hunting expedition with 21 others in modern-day Colorado. He was accused of killing and eating five of his companions after the party became snowbound in the Rockies. Packer pleaded self-defense in his trial, but was eventually convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 40 years in prison. The charges of cannibalism have never been confirmed.

  • Jeffrey L. Dahmer

    Jeffrey Dahmer was convicted in 1992 of 15 different murders, many of which included elements of cannibalism. Dahmer, who frequently raped his victims both dead and alive, reportedly wanted to turn his victims into "zombies," eternally youthful boys who would be sexually submissive to him. Dahmer was finally apprehended after a potential victim in 1991 escaped and contacted authorities. When Dahmer's house was examined, police found several corpses in acid-filled vats, as well as an altar of candles and human skulls. In 1994, he was beaten to death by a fellow inmate at the Columbia Correctional Institution in Wisconsin, where he had been serving fifteen consecutive life sentences.

  • Mauerova Family

    Klara Mauerova and her mother, Barbara, were Czech members of the Grail Movement Cult who went on trial in 2008 for tortuing Klara's sons. The atrocities committed by the Mauerova women allegedly included partially skinning her 8-year-old and feeding his flesh to relatives. The women were caught when a neighbor's baby monitor picked up images of the young boy chained in the basement. Klara Mauerova is pictured at left, with blonde hair, and Barbara Skrlova is at left wearing glasses. Klara's children Jakub, 10, is pictured in the foreground in a life jacket and Ondrej is at back with blonde hair.

  • Issei Sagawa

    In 1981, this Japanese student was in Paris studying English literature when he shot and killed a female student, then consumed her corpse over two days. Sagawa was declared insane and deported. Japanese psychologists pronounced him sane but "evil," but officials found themselves unable to legally hold Sagawa when the French government failed to turn over his paperwork. Sagawa is currently free and living in Japan.

  • Armin Meiews

    This German was looking for "the ultimate kick" when posted an a cannibal website in 2001, asking for "a well-built 18- to 30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed." When he received a serious response, Meiews videotaped himself cutting off the voluntary victim's penis, which the two attempted to eat together. Meiws then killed the man and cannibalized the body, all on tape.

  • Antron "Big Lurch" Singleton

    Singleton was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Lurch" target="_hplink">sentenced to life in prison</a> for killing Tynisha Ysais while high on PCP. Authorities said teethmarks were found on Ysais' face and lungs. A witness said that, when police picked Singleton up, he was naked, covered in blood and screaming at the sky.

  • Rudy Eugene

    In May, 2012, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/29/rudy-eugene-identified-as-naked-cannibal-face-attack-miami_n_1552249.html" target="_hplink">Eugene was identified</a> by Miami police as the man who was fatally shot by authorities as he chewed another man's face. The 31-year-old from North Miami Beach has been arrested eight times since the age of 16, including for a battery charge that was later dropped.

  • Alexander Kinyua

    Authorities say the Kenyan college student admitted to eating the heart of his roommate, 37-year-old Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/01/alexander-kinyua-ate-kujoe-agyei-kodie-cannibalism-facebook-maryland_n_1563586.html" target="_hplink">The AP reported</a> that months before the killing Kinyua ranted about "mass human sacrifices" on Facebook. He was also out on bail at the time of the alleged cannibalism for charges he beat a man on the college campus with a baseball bat.

  • Survivors of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571

    In October 1972, Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 crashed in the Andes while carrying 45 passengers. More than a quarter of the passengers died on impact, and over the next 2 months, many more gradually died in the South American mountain range due to cold, injury and starvation. By the time the passengers were rescued in December -- known as the "Miracle of the Andes" -- only sixteen passengers remained alive. In order to survive, the remaining passengers had been forced to feed off the corpses of the others for sustenance.

  • Human Empanadas

    In this television reproduction, Jorge da Silveira (L) and Isabel Pires are presented to the press by police authorities in Garanhuns, Pernanbuco, Brazil on April 13th, 2012. Jorge Beltrao Negromonte, his wife, Isabel Cristina Pires, and his mistress, Bruna Oliveira da Silva, were arrested in Sao Paolo and charged with allegedly killing two women, eating parts of their bodies and using their flesh to make the stuffed pastries known as empanadas for sale. The three allegedly confessed to the crimes and reportedly planned to kill another woman living in the nearby city of Lagoa do Ouro.

  • Donner Party

    In May 1846, the 87-person Donner party set out from Missouri to California in a pioneering mission. The band took a route that had not been exhaustively traveled, and soon found themselves stuck in the Sierra Nevada mountain range, where they established shelters. An enterprising group of 15 men and women set out on snowshoes to complete the journey, but the cold and rough terrain proved overpowering, and eight died. The remaining seven reportedly ate the flesh of their dead companions. The group that remained in the makeshift shelters also resorted to cannibalism of their dead. In total, 39 Donner Party members died. James F. Reed and his wife, Margret W. Keyes Reed, seen in this file photo taken in the 1850s, were survivors of the tragic Donner Party, who were stranded during a heavy winter in the Sierra Nevadas near Truckee, Calif. The Reed family was one of only two families who survived the ordeal intact.

  • Jamestown, Virginia

    The "Starving Time" of Jamestown, between 1609-1610, was marked by extreme famine largely caused by a harsh winter for the fledgling North American colony in modern-day Virginia. During this period, settlers were forced to succumb to cannibalism, and only 60 of the previous 500 Jamestown settlers survived. Captain James Smith ultimately imposed martial law in the colony to turn things around.

  • Tyree Smith

    In January 2012, 35-year-old Connecticut resident Tyree Smith was arrested after allegedly killing Angel "Tun Tun" Gonzalez with an axe and then eating portions of his body. According to the warrant for his arrest, Smith said that the victim's eye "tasted like an oyster."

  • William Buehler Seabrook

    American explorer and <em>New York Times</em> reporter William Buehler Seabrook (1884 to 1945) claimed that on his travels to West Africa, a tribe called the Guere offered him the opportunity to taste human meat. Seabrook did not accept at the time, but later had a hospital intern in Paris get him a cut of a healthy but recently deceased person, which he cooked and wrote about eating. He reported that the flavor as being similar to "good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef."

  • Charles Taylor's Army

    The former Liberian President <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/feedarticle/8629667" target="_hplink">was accused of ordering his men</a> to eat the flesh of their enemies. The accusation, which Taylor denied during his trial for war crimes, was leveled by former aide Joseph Marzah. The aide said Taylor reasoned that eating human flesh would "set an example for the people to be afraid."