My Personality Paradox

07/01/2012 11:53 pm ET
  • Sahaj Kohli Lifestyle Blog Editor, The Huffington Post

"Those who love giving advice on our garden never tend their own plant" - Paulo Coelho

If there is anything that I have become increasingly overwhelmed by recently, besides the pressure, my desires and uncertainty, it's the idea of being alone. Not lonely. Just alone. Even though I enjoy my downtime, I still spend more time thinking about others and caring for others than I do for myself. I trust easily. Give willingly. I fall hard too -- all for my friends, family, significant others, strangers who have left an impression, those in need, etc. This sounds great in theory, and of course it's a wonderful thing to be able to be selfless and kind and compassionate, but at what expense of your own?

Learn from me. Be your own best friend. It's great to have a support system surrounding you, but it's important to be able to stand on your own two feet and take a walk by yourself. It's incredible to be able to talk yourself through the hard times first and foremost and then have your friends and family as secondary, backup support. You're not doing anybody any good, even if your intentions are in place by neglecting your needs to take on those of others. It's like they say on the plane, first place your oxygen mask, then help those around you. If you are trying to help someone else first and run out of air, then you're not doing anybody else any good.

If you had a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself, imagine how much better of a family member, friend, significant other and social service member you could be. Imagine the confidence this builds, the security, the self love, the compassion, the kindness, the patience...

I wholeheartedly believe that being able to be there for yourself at all times and in all aspects of life is a life skill everyone should learn and master. It's not selfish because the long term effects selfless. The better you can be for yourself the better you can be for the rest of the world. I’m still learning this.

So now, I would like to take the time to introduce you. Enjoy your company; enjoy learning more about you and enjoy taking care of you. I hear you're pretty great.


This post and more can be found on Sahaj's blog- A Quarter Life Crisis
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