Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And it caused hell for Peter Bauer who, armed with a .38-caliber handgun, allegedly spent his Tuesday morning running from and shooting at Croatians. Imaginary Croatians.
The Orlando Sentinel reported that the 61-year-old man was arrested while hiding between two cars in Palm Coast, Fl., and holding a pistol.
Bauer told Flagler County sheriff's deputies that he snorted coke late Monday night before Croatians broke into his home. He fled to a neighbor's house, where occupants called police to report a crazed man banging at their sliding glass doors, according to the St. Augustine Record.
"The residents positively identified Bauer as the man who spent several minutes at their back door before running away," deputies said in a report obtained by the paper.
Bauer also reportedly copped to firing four shots at the non-existent Eastern Europeans, and even got cut at some point while running from them.
He didn't hurt anyone, but he was arrested after authorities claimed to find cocaine and shell casings in his home. He was charged with attempted burglary, according to the Sentinel.
DRUGS HIDDEN IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:
This Florida woman was allegedly caught with a hypodermic needle stowed away in her anus. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/01/alexis-clancey-hides-needle-in-butt_n_2789700.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News">Read the whole story here. </a>
Priscilla Pena and Michelle Blassingale were arrested at JFK Airport after arriving from the Dominican Republic in late January. Drug-sniffing dogs allegedly detected something. Authorities said Pena had seven kilos of cocaine in silver plastic, wrapped around her butt like a disposable diaper.
Rasoul Speight, 32, is facing a narcotics charge after New Jersey cops yesterday discovered a whopping 100 bags of heroin hidden in his anus.
Bellamy allegedly hid 36 vials of crack cocaine in her vagina to stay out of police custody. But officers noticed that the Philadelphia woman was walking funny, and she admitted to her hiding place. "The woman says, 'I have crack up in my vagina,' and she pushed out 36 vials of crack cocaine that were in a bag," Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood said. "Thank God the lady didn't have a snake or a crocodile, or we'd really have been in trouble."
Pot Found In Frozen Carrots
42 packages of marijuana were found stashed inside boxes of carrots on the back of a truck trying to pass through the Otay Mesa cargo facility.
Crack, Pot Found In Man's Prosthetic Leg
Jose Santiago is accused of hiding 2.5 grams of crack cocaine and 2.8 grams of marijuana inside his prosthetic leg.
Kiana Howell and Makeeba Grahama
Kiana Howell (L) and Makeeba Graham (R) are accused of attempting to smuggle cocaine from Guyana into the U.S. in their hair.
Harvey is accused of stuffing clothes shoes and a watch worth a combined $450 <a href="http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat_will_greenlee_blog/2012/09/byron-harvey-apparently-had-a.html" target="_hplink">in his pants.</a> He also allegedly had several pills stuffed in his pants that he claimed were not his.
Cocaine Bricks In XBox
Carlos Valenzuela, 42, was pulled over by El Paso authorities for a traffic violation, but the routine stop led to the discovery of <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/07/cocaine-in-xbox-carlos-valenzuela_n_1495223.html#s=946270" target="_hplink">two large bricks of cocaine inside an XBox 360.</a>
Man Allegedly Ties 89 Bags Of Drugs To Penis
A traffic violation by Ray Woods, 23, caught the attention of Pennsylvania police, who then discovered Woods was packing something quite large: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/89-bags-of-heroin-tied-to-penis_n_1420733.html" target="_hplink">89 bags of heroin and cocaine tied to his penis.</a>
Cocaine Found In Tampon Box
Cindy Davidson of Salt Lake City found quite a surprise when she opened a box of tampons she purchased: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/04/cocaine-tampons-accidenta_n_1477321.html" target="_hplink">cocaine wrapped in cellophane.</a>
Crack Found In Suspect's Butt
Florida police not afraid to get their hands dirty <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/17/police-find-crack-in-butt_n_1285604.html" target="_hplink">discovered crack in the butt</a> of 28-year-old Ramon Blair.
Idaho Mechanic Finds $40,000 Of Cocaine In 82-Year-Old Woman's Car
An Idaho mechanic <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/10/idaho-mechanic-discovers-cocaine_n_1506071.html?ref=drugs" target="_hplink">found 1.16 pounds of cocaine</a> -- that's more than $40,000 worth on the street -- inside the engine compartment of a car belonging to an 82-year-old woman.