First thing's first.
An irate man with a filthy mouth in Port St. Lucie, Fla. allegedly threatened to kick his neighbor's behind, but not before he took a load off.
EXPLICIT POTTY LANGUAGE BELOW
As reported by TC Palm, Robert Gernot is accused of telling his neighbor, "When I get done taking a shit, I am going to kick your fucking ass!"
It all started when St. Lucie County sheriff's deputies were sent to investigate "neighbor problems" on June 17, according to a police report sent to The Huffington Post.
The report says Gernot told police that his neighbor, Daniel Shipp, came over to his house and tried to strike up a conversation. Gernot said he told his neighbor he wasn't in the mood and, at that point, Shipp threatened Gernot.
But Shipp told a very different story to police. Shipp said he went over to Gernot's mother's house to do some gardening. That's when Gernot, who was nearby, started calling his own mother a "whore" according to the report. Shipp took issue with Gernot's words and the two started to argue.
As Shipp was telling his side of the story to the deputies, Gernot shouted his aforementioned profanity-laced threat in front of the police.
Shipp told the deputies he felt threatened by Gernot's tirade and that was enough to for police to make an assault arrest.
It's unclear if Gernot ever got to take that bathroom break before getting put into the squad car.