There are some really hilarious things that have happened in the online food world thanks to Guy Fieri. The on-point parody, Passover At Guy Fieri's House, brought to light a fictional menu that seemed SO REAL with items like "Gefilte fish parmigiana 'jammers'" and "Habanero brisket with deep-fried horseradish quinoa 'Watza Matza? Balls'™". That menu is a true gem, but it might pale in comparison to Gwynedd & Guy, a food blog in which one womans cooks through the cookbook "Guy Fieri Food: Cookin' it. Livin' it. Lovin' it." Think Julie & Julia, but with more Sammy Hagar, as the blog puts it.
Get ready to hop aboard the boat to flavortown, y'all, because it's about to get real. Gwynedd Stuart's mission statement of sorts:
In the end, I just want us all to feel closer to Guy Fieri. To a point that it’s sweaty and breathy and uncomfortable.
In addition to the postings from Cheddar Trans-Porter Soup and the Garlic & Onion Stack, we're partial to the most recent one, the No One Can Beato This Taquito. How can you argue with insights like this:
"Texture. Character. Dignity."
Qualities I demand in my food. And my Guy Fieris — "texture" refers specifically to his facial hair. Fine, all of them refer to his facial hair. These are also qualities Guy believes should be possessed by taquitos. Not just any taquitos. TAQUITOS THAT NO ONE CAN BEATO.
I should mention that the word “crunchalicious” is conspicuously absent from the recipe’s description and it seems like a really unfortunate oversight to fans like me.
Gwynedd Stuart, we are not worthy. We looking forward to the S'more Pizza.
[h/t Squid Ink]