"J-Rob, how could you?"
Like many Republicans, Stephen Colbert was devastated at the news that Chief Justice John Roberts had turned his back on conservatives and voted to uphold the dreaded Obamacare. What was Colbert to make of such a drastic shift?
"Where's the man who said unlimited corporate money was speech? Where's the man who voted against equal pay for women? I don't even know who you are anymore."
The host then put an even finer point on the treachery: "This is the worst betrayal since Benedict Arnold teamed up with Judas to stab Caesar right in the croutons."
After taking in the disappointment, Colbert was left with only one thing to do: replace his Tiger Beat poster of Justice Roberts with one of Justice Scalia.
Check out the clip above, and then take a look at the follow-up segment below where Colbert warns of the terrifying precedent set by this ruling: "If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, then there's nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom in a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy."
A Beautiful War For Women
Women are the big prize this campaign year, and both sides are fallopian-it to win it.
The Other War On Women
Mitt Romney enlightens us about the real war on women.
Arizona's "Pre-Life" Laws
Colbert gives a big tip of the hat to Arizona for calling a woman legally pregnant two weeks before she's actually pregnant.
Stephen Colbert's Lady Heroes
No surprise, the Lady Heroes are all men, because conservative men feel comfortable speaking for women.
Rush Limbaugh's Sandra Fluke
Rush Limbaugh gets a lot of heat just for calling a woman he's never met a "slut" and "prostitute."
Women's Health-Nazi Plan
If you want to control your fertility, do it the way God intended: with a cold, loveless marriage.
The Word: Too Big To Nail
The Supreme Court sets a precedent that truly grants sexual equality in the workplace, because now men and women will be equally powerless against corporations.
The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
If you can't discriminate against women, what's the point of hiring them?
Mardi Gras And International Women's Day
Stephen throws out some beads for women showing their advanced degrees and their ability to balance a satisfying career with a rich home life.