On July 19th, "Clueless" celebrates its 17th anniversary. Yes, that means the movie came out in 1995 -- feel old yet?
What would the last 17 years have been like without Cher, Dionne and Tai (RIP Brittany Murphy) and their iconic one-liners? These "Clueless" characters taught us a lot in our formative years -- how else would we have known that "Ren & Stimpy" are "way existential," that "sporadic means once in a while" or that you should never ever "skin a collie to make [your] backpack"?
Among the wisdom Cher and company imparted, some of the most valuable had to do with love and sex. For instance, when your boyfriend calls you "woman," it may "have mocking but not necessarily misogynistic undertones." Also, your friend might call you on being a "virgin who can't drive," but that doesn't mean you aren't lovable (as if). Furthermore, there is no reason you can't be picky when it comes to love and still be the most popular girl in school.
To thank Cher Horowitz for showing us how to navigate being "totally butt crazy in love" -- even if it was with her sort-of brother -- we've compiled a short compendium of relationship lessons we learned from "Clueless."
LOOK: 11 Love, Sex And Dating Lessons From "Clueless"
It's OK To Date Your Step-Brother
... as long as he's Paul Rudd. (And as long as your parents are divorced.)
You Can Be A "Technical" Virgin
But after you almost get run off the freeway, your virginity will probably go from "technical to non-existent."
If He Likes "Spartacus," That Might Be A Red Flag
He might be just not that into you ... and into men. Even having something baking couldn't save Cher's relationship with Christian.
He Will Still Love You If You Burn The Cookies ... But He Will Still Be Gay
It all worked out for Cher and Christian in the end. She got a new shopping buddy.
The PC Term For Virginity Is "Hymenally Challenged"
Dionne is so thoughtful.
College Boys Are Way Better Than High School Boys
Cher would NEVER date a high school boy. She "has attitude" about them. Cher: "They're like dogs. You have to clean them and feed them and they're just like these nervous creatures that jump and slobber all over you."
As Long As His "You-Know-What Isn't Crooked," Everything's Fine
Tai: "You know I don't really mind either way. Just as long as his you-know-what isn't crooked. I really hate that."
Never Listen To "Rollin' With The Homies" After A Breakup
Poor Tai... Elton just didn't make sense.
Suck & Blow Is A Really Seductive Game
"Clueless" taught us that Suck & Blow was the perfect party game -- especially if you're standing near your crush. Not so fun at a party? Getting concussed.
Sometimes You've Gotta "Show A Little Skin"
As Cher says, "Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex." Of course if you're trying to seduce a gay man, it probably won't work.
Send Yourself Flowers And Chocolates
Cher knew the trick to happiness. If your object of desire isn't sending you flowers and sweet treats, just do it yourself.