Justin Bieber, with his smooth, hairless baby face, attempts to appear brooding on the August cover of Rolling Stone, which wants to convince us that the pop star is "HOT READY LEGAL."
The singer turned 18 four months ago and his team is determined to let everyone know that Justin Bieber has become a man -- that's even the tease for his Rolling Stone profile.
In March, Bieber got bloody for Complex magazine, sporting nasty cuts and bruises in a boxing-themed photo shoot, while promoting the new "mature" sound his fans could expect from his then-forthcoming album "Believe."
In May, GQ failed in its mission to get Bieber drunk for an interview, but when the writer did score face time it was apparently the first time Bieber had ever been left alone with a reporter. Without his managers and handlers present, it turned out that Bieber isn't all grown up, so much as he has moments of face-palm-inducing immaturity just like the rest of his peers.
Now, he's back on the cover of Rolling Stone for the second time (the first time we learned about his thoughts on abortion) and tells the magazine, "I feel like I carry myself in a more manly way. I don't carry myself as a boy."
We're glad Bieber feels like he's growing up, but that doesn't mean we --those over the age of, say, 21 -- don't feel more than a little uncomfortable with proclamations that he's "HOT READY LEGAL."
Coincidentally, as Gawker pointed out, another 18-year-old was "Hot, Ready and Legal!" on the cover of Rolling Stone's August 2004 issue. It feels like eons have passed, but just eight years ago Lindsay Lohan was in Bieber's shoes -- fresh off the success of "Mean Girls" -- as the hottest young star who was just ripe for Hollywood to swallow her whole.
Gawker wonders if Rolling Stone's recycled cover could "foretell a horrific Lohanesque decline" -- and with Bieber's recent legal entanglements we're inclined to at least consider the premise.
In May, Bieber allegedly got into a heated physical scuffle with a paparazzo in a parking lot, but the most Lohanesque problem thus far is the need for speed -- on the road, that is.
The pop star has no DUIs on his record, but he doesn't have the best driving record either. According to TMZ, in 2011 he was pulled over for going 90 miles per hour in a Range Rover, then he was pulled over in October for cutting off a police car, and two months later he was pulled over yet again for making an unsafe turn. Earlier this month, the singer was pulled over again, for allegedly topping speeds of 100 miles per hour on an LA freeway, while weaving in and out of traffic. In Bieber's defense, he says he was speeding excessively because he was being chased by aggressive paparazzi, and the case is now in the hands of L.A. prosecutors.
Traffic violations and car accidents seem to have initially signalled the decline of Lohan. In August 2004, the then 18-year-old actress was sued for allegedly causing a head-on collision in Studio City, and in October 2005 she crashed her car into another vehicle in West Hollywood. And as we know, the list goes on and on.
NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 01: Musician Justin Bieber visits the Nintendo World Store on September 1, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)
NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 15: Justin Bieber performs on ABC's Good Morning America' at ABC News' Good Morning America Times Square Studio on November 15, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Michael N. Todaro/WireImage)
NEW YORK - DECEMBER 11: Justin Bieber attends the Z100s Jingle Ball 2009 presented by H&M at Madison Square Garden on December 11, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Jim Spellman/WireImage for Clear Channel Radio)
LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 13: Singer Justin Bieber poses after his free performance presented by KIIS-FM at Nokia Plaza L.A. Live on February 13, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)
NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 26: Justin Bieber promotes his new book 'First Step 2 Forever' at Barnes & Noble, 5th Avenue on November 26, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 15: Justin Bieber attends KIIS FM's 2010 Wango Tango Concert at Staples Center on May 15, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
Teen idol Justin Bieber arrives on the red carpet for the 68th annual Golden Globe awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, on January 16, 2011. AFP PHOTO/Valerie MACON (Photo credit should read VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 16: Justin Bieber attends the 'Justin Bieber: Never Say Never' premiere at the O2 Cineworld on February 16, 2011 in London, England. (Photo by Jon Furniss/WireImage)
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 22: Singer Justin Bieber poses in the press room with the Digital Artist of the Year award during the 2011 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena May 22, 2011 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images)
NASHVILLE, TN - JUNE 08: Justin Bieber attends the 2011 CMT Music Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on June 8, 2011 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
Singer Justin Bieber attends the 2011 BET Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on June 26, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (FilmMagic)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - AUGUST 07: Singer Justin Bieber arrives at the 2011 Teen Choice Awards held at Gibson Amphitheatre on August 7, 2011 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
Singer Justin Bieber arrives at the The 28th Annual MTV Video Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE on August 28, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 08: Justin Bieber attends the Dolce & Gabbana Boutique on September 8, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Eugene Gologursky/Getty Images for Dolce & Gabbana)
Singer Justin Bieber poses in the press room at The 53rd Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center on February 13, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Tran/FilmMagic)
ATLANTA, GA - SEPTEMBER 17: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Musician and 2011 Horizon Award Recipien Justin Bieber poses backstage at the 33rd Annual Georgia Music Hall Of Fame Awards at the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center on September 17, 2011 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Ben Rose/WireImage)