HBO's trailer for the Dolphins' season of 'Hard Knocks' is a truly unprecedented take on Big Sports In Miami. Eschewing the usual interjected stock footage of scantily clad South Beachers, the clip follows the banality of real life at the Fins HQ in hum-drum Davie: traffic on I-95, an overabundance of chain restaurants, and concrete life 10 miles from the nearest beach.
JUST KIDDING! Of course it doesn't. It not only soaks up that South Beach sun, but bumps Star Island and pans up the Miami River through Brickell, using so much "Miami" footage Riptide was prompted to point out it looks just like the opening credits to "Miami Vice".
But it's cool. Even LeBron took his talents to South Beach, when he really works in an entirely different city. We're numb, and we'd prefer people not think of Miami as a bubble in the Broward County tangle. What the trailer is legitimately shot through with is the world's most concentrated collection of sports cliches this side of Skip Bayless:
"Right now is the calm before the storm."
"We're building momentum."
"That's when this team is forged."
"Toughest 5 weeks of their lives."
"We'll see at the end who rises to the top."
"Do you have the 53 men...helping this team reach its full potential?"
In other words, we truly can't wait for this behind-the-scenes look at training camp, with the manly grunts, grappling, wheel routes, and -- sigh -- all the hope a Dolphins fan can muster. It really is the calm before the storm.
Hard Knocks premieres on HBO August 7 at 10 p.m.