It's only the beginning of the 2012 summer Olympics in London, but already we've noticed a few things missing from the festivities.
Fortunately, we're not short on ridiculous fans and outfits, but we couldn't help noticing how events like beach volleyball and air rifle shooting are included, but pole dancing and beer poing are not. What's up with that?
There are actually a ton of physically straining and entertaining activities that should obviously be included in the Olympics but instead are hopelessly ignored. We're talking competitive eating, potato sack races and H.O.R.S.E. (oh sure, they include "basketball"). Seriously, there are at least 16 things that would be amazing if turned into televised, worldwide competitions. Just check out the slideshow below and tell us if you don't agree.
If curling can make it into the winter Olympics, we think we could at least one of these into the next summer games.
Come on, Kobayashi was made for this!
Spanish-speaking athletes will have an automatic advantage as tehy'll be playing C.A.B.A.L.L.O.
If Drew Barrymore can make a movie about it, it's good enough for the Olympics.
Remember 2011, guys?
It's a physically demanding spectator sport, <em>plus</em> it's clothing-optional. What's not to love?
They have frat boys in other countries, right?
If ribbon dancing made it in, we don't understand why this wouldn't.
Elbows behind the table or you're disqualified.
Sitting at a computer all day thinking of snarky comments isn't "athletic," per se, but it does require a lot of stamina and toned digits for typing. Now, who's up for some competitive aggregation?
You might think that this would be a boring event to watch, buut with every turn of a page there could potentially be a paper cut. Now that's excitement!
OK, maybe not an entire round of mini-golf, but the windmill hole has got to be worth at least a Bronze.
It requires coordination, team work <em>and</em> has an awesome "uniform" selection (plus, you know America would take the Gold).
That Thing Where You Have To Get The Ball In The Cup
You know, that thing.
Finally, the nations of the world can express their frustrations in a way that doesn't involve bombs or embargos.
Potato Sack Races
We already have pre-teen Olympians, why not give them a sport that they'll actually enjoy?
It'd be a lot like that movie "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486551/" target="_hplink">Beerfest</a>," except, you know, a lot funnier.
Correction: This list initially included badminton, which we didn't realize was an Olympic sport. We regret the error but still stand by our statement that "shuttlecock" is a really funny word.