Watch NBC's Olympic coverage for 10 minutes and you'll probably find yourself tearing up at least once. Watch for an hour and you'll have something to talk to your therapist about next week.
In its relentless effort to provide the dramatic human interest stories behind the games -- we need something to do while those athletes are just standing around -- NBC seems to have dug up every sad, heart-wrenching anecdote they could find. It would almost seem that a lifetime of training is nothing if fate hasn't also dealt you a couple of identity-shattering blows to the stomach.
The folks at UCB comedy realized this trend and have taken the coverage to its most extreme level with their new spoof, NBC's Sad Olympics. Take a look at the video above and get prepared to cry really, really hard. USA! USA!
Come on, Kobayashi was made for this!
Spanish-speaking athletes will have an automatic advantage as tehy'll be playing C.A.B.A.L.L.O.
If Drew Barrymore can make a movie about it, it's good enough for the Olympics.
Remember 2011, guys?
It's a physically demanding spectator sport, <em>plus</em> it's clothing-optional. What's not to love?
They have frat boys in other countries, right?
If ribbon dancing made it in, we don't understand why this wouldn't.
Elbows behind the table or you're disqualified.
Sitting at a computer all day thinking of snarky comments isn't "athletic," per se, but it does require a lot of stamina and toned digits for typing. Now, who's up for some competitive aggregation?
You might think that this would be a boring event to watch, buut with every turn of a page there could potentially be a paper cut. Now that's excitement!
OK, maybe not an entire round of mini-golf, but the windmill hole has got to be worth at least a Bronze.
It requires coordination, team work <em>and</em> has an awesome "uniform" selection (plus, you know America would take the Gold).
That Thing Where You Have To Get The Ball In The Cup
You know, that thing.
Finally, the nations of the world can express their frustrations in a way that doesn't involve bombs or embargos.
Potato Sack Races
We already have pre-teen Olympians, why not give them a sport that they'll actually enjoy?
It'd be a lot like that movie "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486551/" target="_hplink">Beerfest</a>," except, you know, a lot funnier.