Watch NBC's Olympic coverage for 10 minutes and you'll probably find yourself tearing up at least once. Watch for an hour and you'll have something to talk to your therapist about next week.

In its relentless effort to provide the dramatic human interest stories behind the games -- we need something to do while those athletes are just standing around -- NBC seems to have dug up every sad, heart-wrenching anecdote they could find. It would almost seem that a lifetime of training is nothing if fate hasn't also dealt you a couple of identity-shattering blows to the stomach.

The folks at UCB comedy realized this trend and have taken the coverage to its most extreme level with their new spoof, NBC's Sad Olympics. Take a look at the video above and get prepared to cry really, really hard. USA! USA!

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  • Competitive Eating

    Come on, Kobayashi was made for this!

  • H.O.R.S.E.

    Spanish-speaking athletes will have an automatic advantage as tehy'll be playing C.A.B.A.L.L.O.

  • Roller Derby

    If Drew Barrymore can make a movie about it, it's good enough for the Olympics.

  • Planking

    Remember 2011, guys?

  • Pole Dancing

    It's a physically demanding spectator sport, <em>plus</em> it's clothing-optional. What's not to love?

  • Icing Bros

    They have frat boys in other countries, right?

  • Breakdancing

    If ribbon dancing made it in, we don't understand why this wouldn't.

  • Beer Pong

    Elbows behind the table or you're disqualified.

  • Blogging

    Sitting at a computer all day thinking of snarky comments isn't "athletic," per se, but it does require a lot of stamina and toned digits for typing. Now, who's up for some competitive aggregation?

  • Speed Reading

    You might think that this would be a boring event to watch, buut with every turn of a page there could potentially be a paper cut. Now that's excitement!

  • Mini Golf

    OK, maybe not an entire round of mini-golf, but the windmill hole has got to be worth at least a Bronze.

  • Square Dancing

    It requires coordination, team work <em>and</em> has an awesome "uniform" selection (plus, you know America would take the Gold).

  • That Thing Where You Have To Get The Ball In The Cup

    You know, that thing.

  • Bumper Cars

    Finally, the nations of the world can express their frustrations in a way that doesn't involve bombs or embargos.

  • Potato Sack Races

    We already have pre-teen Olympians, why not give them a sport that they'll actually enjoy?

  • Drinking

    It'd be a lot like that movie "<a href="" target="_hplink">Beerfest</a>," except, you know, a lot funnier.