Thanks to Obama's contraception mandate going into effect, American women are now on the "loose lady express to bone town junction."
But House Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has an ingenious plan to save us: Repeal Obamacare!
Good plan, Mitch. Why hasn't anyone thought of that yet? You'd think there was some sort of court of law -- like, a superlatively great court, some kind of supreme court -- that could definitively "strike down" Obamacare and stop the government from paying women to have sex on the taxpayers' dime.
Stephen Colbert wants no part of this outrage. However, since being named to Maxim's list of the 100 hottest women in the world he's bound to abide by the law until McConnell's master plan reverses it. Which means he has no choice but to down an entire month's worth of birth control pills.
Check out the full clip above to see Stephen get predictably moody after swallowing all that progesterone.