The USDA initiative to encourage environmentally-friendly eating habits got Colbert all hot and bothered on Thursday night's episode of the "Report" due to scientific findings that plants can talk and feel pain. So, in addition to preventing him from participating in "Trichinosis Tuesdays," Colbert finds "Meatless Mondays" simply cruel and unusual:
"All those smug, morally superior vegans are actually vicious kale killers!"
Watch Colbert's outrage culminate into a "Eat More Meat" PSA (reminiscent of everyone's favorite Sarah MacLaughlin commercials)for PETOP, or People for the Ethical Treatment Of Produce, in the segment above. You'll never look at a baby carrot the same way again.