Does your beard totally suck? Can you only grow facial hair with weird patches in it? Have you considered a beard wig made out of your own back hair? Or worse, did you buy one of these knit or crochet beards?

You are not alone.

If you need to take your beard to the next level, consider getting your very own beard mentor. While it is easy to solicit a beard mentor via print or the World Wide Web, there are several things to consider.

Ruminate on the following points:

1.) Are you ready... for the Ultimate?
2.) Who is your dream beard guru? Is it Civil War General Robert E. Lee? Is it Zod?
3.) How awesome are you? Be honest.
4.) If you can't grow a beard, would you settle for a non-hair replacement?
5.) If you considered #4, you are not ready... for the Ultimate.

(via Reddit)

Related on HuffPost:

Loading Slideshow...
  • Infinite Beard

    Keeps going and going and going. (Via <a href="http://www.realthinktank.com/2009/12/infinite-beard-really-bad-idea.html" target="_hplink">Real Think Tank</a>)

  • ?

    Good question. (Via <a href="http://www.funnyhairs.com/funny-facial-hair-03.html" target="_hplink">Facial Hairs</a>)

  • Whiskers

    Just don't pull them. (Via <a href="http://list25.com/top-25-craziest-beards-ever/2/" target="_hplink">List 25</a>)

  • The Bat-stache

    By far the most beard-friendly superhero logo. (Via <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sys9k/i_had_a_dreamit_is_now_reality_the_batstache/" target="_hplink">reddit</a>)

  • Z-Beard

    Or an S-beard, from his perspective. (Via <a href="http://list25.com/top-25-craziest-beards-ever/" target="_hplink">List 25</a>)

  • Pac-Man Beard

    Always chasing those pellets. (Via <a href="http://www.oddee.com/item_97821.aspx" target="_hplink">Oddee</a>)

  • The Half-Beard

    Keep at it. The other half will grow in soon. (Via flickr: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/scomedy/6142925081/" target="_hplink">scomedy</a>)

  • Brandenburg Gate Beard

    One of the most famous beard landmarks. (Via <a href="http://roflstuffz.blogspot.com/2009/09/truth-or-fail-beard-trivia.html" target="_hplink">Rofl Stuff</a>)

  • Moustache Beard

    A beard in the form of moustaches. Interesting. (Via <a href="http://www.funnyhairs.com/funny-moustache-03.html" target="_hplink">Funny Hairs</a>)

  • Beard Tattoo

    Must take a long time to shave. (Via <a href="http://thevelvetrocket.com/2009/06/26/awesome-facial-hair-the-champions/" target="_hplink">The Velvet Rocket</a>)

  • Beard Rings

    Larger and larger. (Via <a href="http://list25.com/top-25-craziest-beards-ever/" target="_hplink">List 25</a>)

  • The Monkey Tail

    Dedication. That's what it looks like. (Via <a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2011/04/all-the-rage-ridiculous-monkeytail-beard.php" target="_hplink">Geekologie</a>)

  • Stretched Beard

    A lot of hair gel is necessary for this. (Via <a href="http://oddfunny.com/yet-another-crazy-beard-design/" target="_hplink">OddFunny</a>)