The London Olympics may be over, but the Twag Olympics never end. What's a "twag" you ask? Thats a Twitter-brag, the kind that doesn't even pretend to be humble. You've seen them. They're those tweets about about exotic vacations, being pretty and hired help that make us groan in our desk chairs. They usually include details of one's fabulous life that are better left un-broadcast. Think Rich Kids of Instagram, sans stylishly filtered photos.
We've come across so many outrageous twags recently that some sort of competition seemed in order. After all, we observed, not all twags are created equal. Thus HuffPost Women presents the Twag Olympics. Read on to find out who wins gold.
Qualifying criteria: These tweets are obnoxious but forgivable. It's tempting to twag about a decadent birthday dinner or the beautiful sunset you see on your hard-earned vacation time. Understood. And while it's better not to talk about your doorman, it's not the worst thing we've ever heard.
— JennaUshkowitz (@JennaUshkowitz) July 17, 2012
You know you have a good relationship with your doorman when he calls and asks if you're alright since you haven't been home in a while
— Lauren Gallo (@MissGallo) July 24, 2012
— CultNails (@CultNails) July 24, 2012
Qualifying criteria: Silver twags are excessive. The twagger shares that she has recently been on a tropical island or flown first-class or is about to, and she may also allude to her sparkling personality and how impossibly thin she is.
So bloody hard to find a bikini hate having big boobs!
— CHLO✌ (@chloemcxo) July 20, 2012
So free moet in the first class lounge really does take the edge off the fear of flying!@boothy1981 wish u were here x twitter.com/susiemc1983/st…
— susan mcfadden (@susiemc1983) August 4, 2012
Massage, facial, champagne, jacuzzi.
— Glass Of Bailey's (@BaileyWhitnell) August 8, 2012
— Elizabeth Holmes (@EHolmesWSJ) August 9, 2012
Qualifying criteria: To win gold, twaggers have to really go for it. Discussions of one's superior sex life or excessive wealth fall into this category. Bonus points if you do both at once!
Why is it always me the ugly pervy men wanna talk to?! Being beautiful can be so hard 😜😂
— Siu-Lin O'Brien (@Siu_LinOBrien) July 24, 2012
After reading the "dirtiest" excerpts from
#50ShadesofGray, I suddenly have profound sympathy for most people's sex lives.
— Alena Natalia (@alenanatalia) July 21, 2012
Popping over to Majorca for a few days work. Very hard to leave the beautiful Ibiza.
— philippa allam (@philippaallam) September 5, 2011
Only I can rock a $700 handbag & $100 shirt and still manage to look homeless.
— Andy San Dimas! (@andysandimas) July 16, 2012
Just booked the cutest little chalet in sorrento for next year to go sightseeing and scout out some wedding venues!italyguides.it/us/campania/so…
— Rochelle Royal (@RoyallyRochelle) July 17, 2012
Perfect Tiffany ring from my perfect boyfriend for my goodbye gift
— Danielle Lynn (@d_lynnn) August 9, 2012
This twag is in a class all its own. Also, "husbaby"?
Happy! New clothes for husbaby, new Herve Leger dresses for me, New MacPro Desktop for us, New maid for the house! Next week shopping lagi!
— Heidi Yaya Kruithof (@YayaKruithof) August 4, 2012
What's the worst twag you've read recently? Retweet it @HuffPostWomen using #twag, and we'll give it a medal.
Also on HuffPost:
HuffPost Women sends stories about relationships, politics, sex, work, culture and body image, straight to your inbox three days a week. Learn more