Olive Garden may use its unlimited breadsticks as an incentive to get customers, but what if you just don't want them? The Onion has created a dorky but funny video about how to "opt out" of the breadstick program, with the assumption that unlimited breadsticks work like email newsletters.
"They don't ask if you want it, they just give it to you," says host Drew Cleary. Plus, they make it "kind of difficult" to get out of the program, he explains. It's disconcerting to have "bread forever" without his expressed permission, you see.
To opt out, Cleary suggests making a reservation under the name "No Bread" and explaining to the hostess that you are extremely full and at no time should food be brought to your table. You can also knock bread off the table. Also don't worry -- Cleary's hard-hitting investigative research found that no one at Olive Garden has ever forced someone to eat bread.
We just learned that Olive Garden's never ending pasta bowl is back on the menu, though -- looks like Cleary needs to make another video.