Huffpost Weddings

Having An Affair: Catherine Hakim's New Book Suggests Affairs Can Keep A Marriage Happy

Posted: Updated:

Monogamy might not be the answer to a happy marriage.

Social scientist Catherine Hakim suggests in her new book, "The New Rules: Internet Dating, Playfairs and Erotic Power" that having an affair might make for a better relationship.

An except from the book, published by The Telegraph Monday in advance of the book's September release in the UK, says that "playfairs" -- 21st century affairs aided by the Internet -- might be the way to solve the high divorce rate in Britain and the U.S.

Hakim writes that sex outside of marriage is akin to eating a meal at a restaurant:

"The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses and partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues," she writes. "Anyone rejecting a fresh approach to marriage and adultery, with a new set of rules to go with it, fails to recognize the benefits of a revitalised sex life outside the home."

She says that the peak time for an extramarital affair is at age 45 for women and 55 for men. Hakim, however, doesn't advocate letting your spouse find out about the affair -- she asserts that the "first rule" of an affair is to “never [have one] in your own backyard where you are most exposed to discovery.”

Sociologists have advocated cheating or open marriages before, but we've also seen the negative consequences of affairs on relationships.

So we want to hear from you: is an affair really the secret to a happy marriage? Tell us in the comments!

Click through the slideshow below to see celebrities who cheated and split.

10 Alleged Celebrity Marriage Wreckers
Share this
Current Slide

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Weddings on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Around the Web

How To Have An Affair: The Cheating Process Explained

Having An Affair? There Are Six Different Kinds | Psychology Today

11 Signs He's Having An Affair | Gallery | Glo

Having An Affair? 10 Things To Address Before You Confess

Could having an affair save your marriage? British scientist recommends ...

Meet the 30-Year-Old Woman Who Claims She Had An Affair With Chad ...

Improve Your Marriage by Having an Affair…With Your Spouse