Like his heroes Mitt Romney and Sean Hannity, Stephen Colbert is a committed Zionist through-and-through. So he could not have been more offended when the Democrats not only excluded the word "God" from their platform, but made no mention of Israel's capital as Jerusalem (or as Stephen's native Hebrew tongue refers to it, Yerushalayim).

"Oh Jersualem, where the temple once stood, where the walls still echo with the impassioned arguments between Rav Hillel and Rav Shammai, where you can get a Phish yarmulke at a store right next to the McDonalds," Stephen declared while donning a traditional rabbinical tallit.

He then showed how the Democrats opted to fix the problem: Leaving it up to a vote in a giant, cacophonous basketball stadium. The entire awkward vote on whether to change the platform is shown in all its glory. Democrats, this is why we can't have nice things. In this life or in any other.

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