That's the title of a new Reddit "Ask Me Anything" post that popped up on the public forum last night. The apparently very disgruntled cable employee, known on the site as "dienoxx," then spent hours answering a multitude of questions about his employer.
The original post documents the employee's initial joy when he was first hired. "I thought it'd be the job of a life time [sic]," he writes. "I love the internet, computers, and love helping people. I'd like to think I'm a really nice computer guy."
Sadly, the honeymoon period didn't last long.
My hopes have slowly been diminished and crushed as requirements from 'upper management' become more strict, and not on promoting people to work harder but discouraging people from being helpful. The red tape that we drown in over the phone gives us the ability to say "Sorry" and if you talk to a good person they'll actually pray your issue gets fixed as it flows down the rusted, broken down pipe.
Detailing "greedy lying manipulative" salesmen, "technicians that blame dispatch," "a dispatch that blames technicians" and "outsourcing agents (OSRs) that DO read from scripts... still manage to mess things up," "dienoxx" paints a depressing picture of the cable giant and the nation's largest video provider, according to Comcast's website.
And he's not the only one frustrated with the company.
A blog called "Comcast Must Die" includes an Employee Confessions section with 132 comments filled with frustrated people venting about the their experiences. Pissed Consumer also contains some choice parting words from Comcast employees, with one post titled "What Really Goes On In A Comcast Call Center."
In August, former Comcast employee Alston Buchanan was arrested for allegedly defrauding the cable giant Comcast out of $2.4 million. Buchanan and his associates had been off-the-book hook-ups to thousands of customers for deeply discounted prices.
Not particularly remorseful, Buchanan told reporters, "I guess you could say it's a modern-day, like, kind of Robin Hood-type thing."
Redditor "dienoxx" meanwhile attempted to answer as many of the questions posted to his AMA as possible. More than a few of the questions were legitimate pleas for help, which he answered with the Comcast corporate number, email address and a sincere "good luck."
But not all the questions were serious. At least one users asked "dienoxx" for his favorite nickname for Comcast.
Cocmast is my favorite.
You get so used to the motion of typing www.comcast.net or .com that you'll trip up and wind up with Cocmast. And our current slogan now is "The future of awesome" the present is terrible.
The less mature of us <a href="http://www.examiner.com/life-the-cubicle-in-national/erection-engineer-awarded-worst-job-title-of-2010" target="_hplink">might chuckle</a> at a job title like "Erection Engineer," but the duties of a person who occupies this position are no laughing matter. Erection engineers are deeply involved with the technology, mechanics, and management of erecting structures such as <a href="http://jobview.monster.com/Mechanical-Engineer-Erection-Registered-Contractor-Job-Maricopa-AZ-106576227.aspx" target="_hplink">solar power plants</a> and <a href="http://search.clickjobs.com/jobs/preview/852237/engineer-steel-structure-erection.html" target="_hplink">large steel formations</a>.
In addition to being Chief Marketing Officer, <a href="http://www.rovio.com/en/about-us/management-team" target="_hplink">Peter Vesterbacka of Rovio</a> -- the creator of popular game Angry Birds -- has proclaimed himself to be the "Mighty Eagle." Well, when you help head up a company that's as successful and <a href="http://www.insidesocialgames.com/2012/04/04/angry-birds-continues-leading-fastest-growing-facebook-games-by-dau/" target="_hplink">fast-growing</a> as Rovio, you might as well give yourself a unique title like this one.
Chief Trouble Maker
<a href="http://www.matrixgroup.net/why-matrix-group/leadership/?fa=joanna-pineda" target="_hplink">Joanna Pineda</a>, the CEO of interactive web design and development company <a href="http://www.matrixgroup.net/" target="_hplink">Matrix Group</a>, is another head honcho who gave herself an additional title: "Chief Trouble Maker." [via <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2006/11/01/leadership-jobs-careers-lead-managing-cx_tw_1101titles.html" target="_hplink"><em>Forbes</em></a>]
Swiss Army Knife
Seems like Matrix Group has a thing for interesting job titles. The company has an open <a href="http://www.matrixgroup.net/careers/current-openings/?fa=show-job&id=126" target="_hplink">"Swiss Army Knife" position</a>, which, apparently, is a cool secondary name for a regular web programmer.
You know those friendly Apple employees who help you out at the Genius Bar whenever one of your devices isn't working properly? They're the ones who give the Genius Bar its name; their official job title is "<a href="http://jobs.apple.com/index.ajs?BID=2&method=mHvexternal.showPositionDetails&PID=51" target="_hplink">Genius</a>."
Social Media Rockstar
In the past few years, social media has become a huge part of the tech world, and, as a result, many a social media-related job has popped up at various companies. While titles for these positions vary, a favorite of ours is "Social Media Rockstar." <a href="http://tomoatmeal.com/" target="_hplink">Blogger Tom Oatmeal</a> <a href="http://slacktory.com/2011/07/im-a-social-media-rockstar/" target="_hplink">claims to hold this unusual title</a> at an unnamed "New Media Marketing company."
Kingpin of Financial Trading And Technology Solutions
Being a kingpin of anything is awesome in itself, but have the actual word "kingpin" in your job title is even better. Whoever scores this open position at CFN Services (check out the listing <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/jobs?viewJob=&jobId=2789258&srchIndex=16&trk=njsrch_hits&goback=%2Efjs_technology_*1_*1_I_us_*1_50_1_R_true_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2" target="_hplink">here</a>) will be someone well-versed in securities trading, technology, and business development. As for making offers you can't refuse, that's not in the job description.
IT Pro Evangelist
While this <a href="https://careers.microsoft.com/jobdetails.aspx?jid=78104" target="_hplink">open IT Pro Evangelist position</a> at Microsoft requires one to have a way with words and a deep understanding of everything IT, thankfully, it doesn't seem like there's any actual preaching involved.
Director Of Intrusion Detection
A <a href="https://careers.microsoft.com/jobdetails.aspx?ss=&pg=6&so=&rw=80&jid=70968&jlang=EN" target="_hplink">Director of Intrusion Detection</a> isn't in charge of investigating alleged break-ins or making sure your house's security system is okay. In the tech world, one holding this title is actually <a href="https://careers.microsoft.com/jobdetails.aspx?ss=&pg=6&so=&rw=80&jid=70968&jlang=EN" target="_hplink">in charge of <em>virtual</em> security</a>, which includes protecting intellectual property and other forms of digital data.
Director Of Storytelling
The job title "Director of Storytelling" may sound like a joke, but there a few people who do have it. <a href="http://blogs.msdn.com/b/stevecla01/" target="_hplink">Steve Clayton</a>, for example, holds that position at Micorosft and helps publicize the company's upcoming projects via the <a href="http://blogs.technet.com/b/next/" target="_hplink">Next at Microsoft blog</a>. [via <a href="http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2011/pf/jobs/1101/gallery.best_companies_craziest_jobs.fortune/jump.html" target="_hplink"><em>MoneyCNN</em></a>]
Maybe it's the word "combat" that makes a title like "Combat Designer" seem so tough -- but even if those in this position aren't actually physically intimidating, they do seem to have quite an interesting job. A <a href="http://playstation.taleo.net/careersection/sceaexternal1/jobdetail.ftl" target="_hplink">Senior Combat Designer at PlayStation</a>, for example, assists and collaborates with other game designers to create characters, work on special effects and sound effects, layout gameplay scenarios, and more.
<a href="http://education-portal.com/articles/Mask_Designer_Job_Description_Duties_and_Requirements.html" target="_hplink">"Mask Designer"</a> can definitely be a misleading job title -- someone in the tech field who holds this position consults with clients to design and create templates (rather than costume masks) for electronic components like circuit boards.
Ruby On Rails Web Developer
To an average person, a title like <a href="http://www.simplyhired.com/job-id/vwbcz63f4n/senior-ruby-jobs/" target="_hplink">"Ruby on Rails Web Developer"</a> can sound silly and be a bit puzzling. What "<a href="http://rubyonrails.org/" target="_hplink">Ruby on Rails</a>" refers to is an "open-source web framework" that allows for easier programming and coding.
Top IT Jobs in the US
Brian Alden discusses the best IT jobs of the year and the experience required.