Each year, Americans suffer a collective 1 billion colds -- not to mention countless cases of full-blown influenza, 24-hour stomach bugs, headaches, allergies, and all the other maladies that can leave us home in bed, feeling miserable.

And now, in particular, that cold and flu season is upon us, chances are you know at least one person who's holed up in the house, nursing an illness. What better way to cheer them up than with a hilarious card, delivered straight to their laptops in bed (not that you should have your electronics in the bedroom, if you read our sleep coverage, but that's another story)? We scanned Someecards for the most hysterical get well e-greetings we can find -- the next best thing to a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup.

Which is your fave?

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  • Too bad! <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/sorry-your-sick-day-is-due-to-actual-sickness">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • From one hypochondriac to another, we hear you. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/i-look-forward-to-spending-time-with-you-once-there-are-no-remaining-traces-of-your-minor-cold">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • Alcohol kills germs, right? <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/im-way-too-sick">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • Sounds fair. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/feel-better-so-i-can-guiltlessly-make">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • But at least you get a card. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/sorry-youre-one-of-those-people-who">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • Mean, but so true. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/your-cough-is-fucking-disgusting--get-well-soon">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • That does not include us. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/if-there-s-anything-you-need--ask-someone-who-s-not-afraid-of-getting-sick">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • Want a medal? <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/it-was-brave">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • Not a bad idea. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/you-should-get-a-second-opinion">Send this ecard here</a>.

  • We've all done it. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/get-well-cards/congratulations-on-googling-your-way">Send this ecard here</a>.