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Dr. Oz Says Food Porn Is Making Us Fat -- We're Not Buying It

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"Like the sexual kind of pornography, food porn whets your appetite in ways you have never imagined, allowing you to lust after the orgasm of the perfect bite." Could you listen to someone say that without throwing up? Neither could we. But thanks to Dr. Oz's food porn segment, we had to try.

Dr. Oz invited three respected food personalities -- Joe Bastianich, Gail Simmons and Amanda Simpson of Food Porn Daily -- on the show to discuss whether or not food porn is making us fat. If this seems initially ridiculous, don't worry, it gets worse!

Notoriously bullshit-intolerant Joe Bastianich could hardly keep himself from rolling his eyes when Dr. Oz suggested that shows like "MasterChef" and "Top Chef" make an average person believe that they can recreate a "food porn fantasy," like they would try to recreate a sexual scene from traditional pornography. We understand Bastianich's frustration, because -- quite frankly -- arguing that food porn makes you fat is akin to arguing that regular porn makes you a sex addict. It's not only incorrect, it's pretty irresponsible.

"The first amendment defends S&M, but it also defends double cheeseburgers with bacon," Bastianich quipped, delightfully. His point being that it's up to us as consumers, whether of porn or of food porn, to determine what is right for ourselves, what is healthy to recreate and we want our own lifestyle to be like.

As Gail Simmons said, this is nothing new! People have been taking beautiful photographs of food for probably as long as people have been taking nude photos of other people. Do we have greater access to both kinds of porn? Sure, that is why we love the internet. But suggesting that enjoying the beauty of the food you eat is somehow detrimental to our health seems idiotic. Is enjoying sex detrimental to our health? We are certain Dr. Oz would say no. It is worth mentioning that we adored how visibly hot and bothered Gail Simmons got when Dr. Oz described "fat dripping down the side of a burger" (we're with you Gail!).

When blogger Amanda Simpson revealed that while maintaining Food Porn Daily and writing a cookbook, she'd managed to lose 110 pounds through diet and exercise, it almost looked like Dr. Oz might just sit down on the floor and forget the whole thing. But no, he had yet another ridiculous surprise up his sleeve.

A woman named Mona, who Dr. Oz has identified as a "victim of food porn," because she gained 20 pounds in two years and is "addicted" to food TV and blogs arrived on the scene. Nevermind the fact that Mona has recently opened a cupcake business. Nevermind the fact that the stress of opening a small business can sometimes cause people to gain weight? Dr. Oz is convinced that it's food porn that's added inches to Mona's waistline.

We, as people who look at food porn for a living, take particular issue to this assertion: we are all in pretty good health and, as Simmons says in the video, that is accomplished by enjoying indulgences occasionally, thinking about what we put into our bodies and generally eating healthfully. So, Dr. Oz, if you would please kindly shift your accusations elsewhere, we would really appreciate it.

Check out the segment on Eater and let us know what you think. Is this a legitimate concern? Or is Dr. Oz digging pretty hard (and fairly irresponsibly?) for content?

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