On Saturday night, Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly spent 90 minutes discussing the news and media in an uncensored debate on the Internet. You can watch the whole thing here, but we've picked out a few of our favorite lines Jon said throughout the night.
- Opening statement, after O'Reilly slams Sandra Fluke: "My friend Bill O'Reilly is completely full of shit. A good portion of this country has created an alternate universe in which the issues we face revolve around a woman from Georgetown."
- "I'm here to plead to the mayor of Bullshit Mountain. Talk to your people!"
- "I don't know that I have time to unpack this, but the reasons that we invest in things like public television is that it brings educational programs to people who might not have them."
- "Give me my money back, the $800 billion for the Iraq war, and children's television is on the house."
- "When you need something, it's an entitlement. When they need something, it is what it is."
- “Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you’re a corporation, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?”
- To Bill's upbringing in Levittown: "You grew up in subsidized housing."
- "This is on the Internet, Bill. Gerry and the Pacemakers is not the reference you want to make."
- Bill: "[Fox News] is making a billion dollars a year, so something's going right."
Jon: "Yes, you can't make money selling crap in America."
- "The first sentence of the Constitution mentions unions and welfare. I don't know what to tell ya."
- "If you think Christmas isn't celebrated in this country as Christmas, walk a mile in Hannukah's shoes."
- "Somebody better livetweet that, motherf***ers! Bill O'Reilly says we should not have gone into Iraq!"
- "The electoral college makes absolutely no sense to me. I have no problem going with the popular vote."
- Moderator: If the U.S. was burning, what famous person would you save?
Bill: "I would say Oprah, she's worth about a hundred billion. Who would you save?"
Jon: "My family?"
- To Bill: "You're socialist too, dude. If you're for social security and Medicare, we're all socialists. This argument is about what shade of red we are."
- On why he's voting for Obama: "Turns out Lincoln's not runnin' this year."
- On his political hero: "I would say Robert Kennedy. He had a passion and a depth of belief, and an optimism, and a tenacity that I very much admired. He was one of the first people I remember learning about, and maybe his death left an indelible mark. I felt that Robert Kennedy was a man of political integrity."
- When Bill says Clint Eastwood should run for president: "Well, why don't we ask him?" [turns to empty chair]
- "I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building."
- His advice for young people:"Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I would rather live in than now. ...There's a tendency to live in a nostalgic state in this country, and think that other generations possessed an integrity and a tenacity better than the generation that is now. I wholeheartedly disagree with that, and I believe this is a group that will rise up to any challenge that comes before them, as well as any other generation in America would have done. My advice to them would be to please don't think of me as an entitled moocher when I'm collecting my government benefits."