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JWoww's Wedding: 7 Things We Think Might Happen

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JWOWW WEDDING
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Jenni "JWoww" Farley, of "Jersey Shore" fame, is getting ready to fist pump her way down the aisle with her boyfriend of two years, Roger Matthews.

While the hard-drinking former cocktail waitress, who got engaged in September, hasn't officially started planning her wedding, she told MTV Monday, "I do know I want a wedding in Vegas, but I want like my whole wedding there so I want 500 people to go to Vegas."

With that in mind, here's a list of seven things that will probably happen at JWoww's Vegas nuptials (we're hoping she rents out an entire chapel and televises the whole hideous thing).

1. A brawl. This one is pretty obvious. The "Jersey" cast is notoriously uncouth (to say the least) after a night of heavy drinking, and we're pretty sure JWoww's wedding will have an open bar. Our best bet for the Big Day battle? Roger vs. JWoww's crazy ex-boyfriend, Tom Lippolis. Since we're pretty sure JWoww will make her wedding date public knowledge, nut-job Tom is likely to make a surprise appearance.

2. A drunken, inappropriate speech by Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino about how he's slept with every girl at the wedding (especially Snooki). Expect this notoriously inappropriate "Jersey" cast member to wrap up his doozy of a speech with the claim that Snooki's new baby, Lorenzo, is actually his.

3. Sammi and Ronnie dramz. We were as over Sammi and Ronnie's relationship drama after the Italy season of "Jersey Shore" as you were, but now that they've settled into a "more stable" (for them) relationship, they're just not as interesting to watch. We're hoping that seeing JWoww tie the knot will reignite the SamRon fire.

4. A self-tanner station. Forget a candy bar or a latte station, this Jersey wedding is bound to have a table at the back dedicated exclusively to refreshing your Sunny D glow. After all, this is the crew that invented GTL, a handy acronym for their priorities: gym, tanning and laundry.

5. Eyebrow grooming services in the men's room. You know how some high-end hotels and clubs hire a bathroom attendant who offers lotion, tampons or breath mints to guests? We're guessing JWoww will do her guy friends a favor and splurge on an esthetician to clean up their brows mid-reception, should they need it.

6. The most cleavage you've ever seen. We all know JWoww loves to show off her assets, so you can bet she'll be donning an inappropriate wedding dress and helping her bridesmaids into sideboob-baring gowns of their own.

7. Fist-pumping. Duh, did you think we'd forget this one? Picture this: generations of pseudo-Italian New Jerseyans -- including Nonna, Nonno and little cousin Guido -- chucking up the single fist in honor of JWoww's vow to love one man forever and ever. Live the dream, sister.

What else can we expect from this "Jersey Shore" wedding? Add your thoughts in the comments.

Click through the slideshow below to see photos of JWoww over the years.

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