As the San Francisco Giants prepare to deliver the Motor City Kitties a baseball beatdown of such epic proportions that not even Robocop will be able to save them, it's time to consider the second-most important part of the rivalry between the two cities: which town has better music.
Spoiler alert: The answer is San Francisco.
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Sure, Detroit has contributed to a lot to the world of popular music: Motown, techno, Death, the Insane Clown Posse. Even so, San Francisco has a giant leg up when it comes to music: The Insane Clown Posse is not from here.
Besides, the only thing more overrated than KISS is Prince Fielder.
San Francisco's musical dominance stretches back half a century, to the days when every awesome weirdo in the country--think the Grateful Dead, Blue Cheer, Sly & The Family Stone--moved out west, put flowers in their hair and made some of the best music ever.
(Note: In this case, "flowers" equal marijuana and "hair" equals lungs.)
In the 80s, while Detroit was busy encouraging Ted Nugent for some inexplicable reason, San Francisco produced Journey, a band engineered by an elite team of government scientists to write the greatest sports anthems the world has ever known. You want the best sports pump-up playlist of all time? Just turn on Journey's Greatest Hits. Can't find your copy of Journey's Greatest Hits? Take three shots of Fernet and listen to Huey Lewis & The News. It's (almost) just as good!
Much has been made in the Detroit media of the relative comfort in which fans enjoy games at AT&T Park. The Detroit Free Press notes:
They sit there -- decked out in orange and black, waving orange towels -- watching their Giants while eating garlic fries, crab sandwiches on grilled sourdough bread, clam chowder, fried calamari, sweet potato fries with cinnamon and chipotle sprinkle, and clove garlic chicken sandwiches. Others can be found drinking margaritas, Irish coffee and an assortment of wines.
Can you imagine eating clam chowder and drinking wine in the bleachers at old Tiger Stadium? You’d get thrown out on your tush. Just because.
But AT&T Park offers these things because they're all awesome and delicious. If anyone says anything bad about garlic fries, Matt Cain will explode them with his fastball.
Oh, did we mention that KISS sucks? Well, they do. And Jack White hasn't had an original idea since "Elephant."
Bring it, Detroit. Bring it.
Check out our San Francisco Giants World Series playlist of songs by Bay Area artists. (And then, if you must, give a listen to the Tigers playlist compiled by our siblings over at HuffPost Detroit.)