1. That stupid thing you said, like, four years ago that absolutely no one remembers except you. Running over it in your head again and again as you stare at the ceiling in your bedroom isn’t going to make it go away.
2. The fact that you don’t look as good when you first wake up as when you are all dressed up to go out. (I’m sure even Beyoncé has her relatively gross getting-out-of-bed moments, even if they’re 1098309823098235098 times more attractive than ours.)
3. How many calories were actually in something you already ate. You’ve eaten it, you’re digesting it, being upset about it isn’t going to make it any less retroactively delicious.