Huffpost Divorce

Halloween Stories: Divorce-Inspired Horror Stories From Our Readers

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EX HORROR STORY
Alamy

Who doesn't have fond memories of Mad-Libs, the silly word game that asks grade schoolers to fill-in-the-blanks until they've written a little story of their own?

Well, you're out of grade school now -- and divorced. (Ack, how did that happen?) But that doesn't mean you can't still have a little Mad-Libs-influenced fun. With that in mind, for the last 10 days, we've asked our community on Facebook and Twitter to help us write the ultimate ex horror story, Mad-Libs style.

Just in time for Halloween, we present you with a frightening final draft featuring some of our favorite responses. Read on, then click through the slideshow below for 5 hilarious alternate versions.

It was last Halloween, just before 11 p.m. Needless to say, I wasn't expecting any more trick-or-treaters. But then the doorbell rang. I looked through the peephole and saw my deadbeat [the one word I would use to describe my ex] ex dressed up as a sewer rat [the animal your ex reminds you of], wearing an old flannel shirt trimmed in velvet [the ugliest piece of clothing my ex owned]. Apprehensively, I opened the door. I stared at my ex, feeling pity [the emotion I feel when I think of my ex] and said, "What are you doing here?"

My former spouse stared back at me with devilish eyes and said, "Shmoopie, [your ex's nickname for you], I am the ghost of marriage past. Hop into my mid-life crisis Mercedes [the one word I would use to describe my ex's car] and let's relive the nightmare date we had at that IHOP bathroom [worst place my ex ever took me on a date]."

I looked at my former spouse and said, "Never. Don't you remember when you told me 'Toni is a guy, not a girl'? [the stupidest thing my ex ever said to me]. Get out of here! And you know what else? I faked it." [the three words you wish you could say to your ex.]

And with that said, I slammed the door on my horrible ex and felt FREEEEEEE! [the way I feel now that my ex is out of my life].

The End.

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Filed by Brittany Wong