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HUFFPOST HILL - Michael Steele For Chairman

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A guy who got the Romney campaign logo tattooed on his face is having buyer's remorse, though no word on whether he's going to sue Rasmussen for his laser removal bills. Grover Norquist said the Obama campaign portrayed Mitt Romney as a "poopy face," giving a terrible new meaning to the term "mudslinging." And Chuck Grassley tweeted about "electricity inventor" Thomas Edison. We can't wait for the next Columbus Day when we hear his thoughts about who invented this continent. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Monday, November 12th, 2012:

Brief housekeeping note: The newsletter's font size decided to shrink itself a few weeks back. Our programmers are working on a fix but are backlogged by issues stemming from Hurricane Sandy. Apologies.

LIFE CHAMPION PAUL RYAN IS UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS, HOW DO YOU SAY, 'LOSING' - The erstwhile vice presidential candidate spoke to the Journal Sentinel about his P90Loss: "'We were with the Romneys when we knew it was over,' Ryan said in a telephone interview Monday with the Journal Sentinel. And what was the mood like in the hotel suite? 'Pretty sad,' Ryan said. 'And our comments more or less revolved around our concern for the country.' It was an unusual election day for Ryan, his first loss. He said losing was 'a foreign experience. It's tough to describe it.' The 42-year-old Janesville native did reclaim his congressional seat. Yet he won re-election by his smallest margin, just 11.5 points, over Democrat Rob Zerban. And Ryan couldn't deliver Wisconsin for Romney...Already, there is talk of what steps the Republican Party may have to take to reclaim the White House four years from now. And Ryan's name is prominently mentioned as a potential presidential contender. 'Oh, 2016, let's not talk about that stuff,' he said. 'That's four years away. I think we're all tired of presidential politics at this time.'" [Journal Sentinel]

GOP GOVERNORS FEELING HEAT ON OBAMACARE - Jeff Young: "The latest sign comes from Florida, where Republican Gov. Rick Scott -- a particularly outspoken critic of Obamacare -- has indicated a new willingness to reconsider his stance against expanding Medicaid to the poorest residents of his state. Foreshadowing the politicking and lobbying that is likely to play out in state capitals across the country between now and when the health care law's coverage expansions take effect in 2014, cracks in Scott's resistance may already be starting to form, according to a Miami Herald report Saturday...The newspaper also quotes state Sen. Don Gaetz (R), who will be president of the upper chamber next year, and state Rep. Will Weatherford (R), the incoming Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives, suggesting the Sunshine State might need to be more flexible when it comes to Obamacare...In Idaho, a working group appointed by Gov. C.L. "Butch" Otter (R) unanimously recommended Friday that the state, which has a GOP-led legislature, go ahead with the Medicaid expansion, reported StateImpact, a National Public Radio initiative...Maine Gov. Paul LePage (R), who came into office on a Tea Party wave in 2010, faces a Democratic Party that swept into control of the legislature and is likely to fight him over Obamacare." If we remember right, there was a ton of southern resistance to Medicare at first, too, then that broke and faded away, until Paul Ryan. [HuffPost]

HuffPost Hill endorses Michael Steele for RNC chairman (him or the Romney tattoo guy -- see below). Luke Johnson: "Asked directly if he would run again on C-Span, Steele said, 'It's not a bad idea. I can go shake up the house a little bit more, what do you think?' 'Are you serious?' asked the host. 'We'll see.' Asked when he would announce a decision to run, Steele said, 'Oh, I've got time for that.'" [HuffPost]

AMERICA MIGHT GET A DRAWN-OUT ELECTION BATTLE AFTER ALL - And it's in Arizona, which is kind of like Florida but with higher rates of xenophobia. Elise Foley: "Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Richard Carmona conceded last week to Republican Rep. Jeff Flake, but as activists protest in Arizona over uncounted ballots, Carmona's campaign said Monday it will consider its options if the voting tally tightens...By Saturday, there were 486,405 uncounted ballots, according to the Arizona secretary of state's website. Carmona currently trails Flake by more than 7,800 votes." [HuffPost]

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - A Texas Republican said Monday morning that unemployment remains high because the government pays people not to work, but he got his talking point wrong. "With unemployment benefits going for as long as 99 weeks, we've seen food stamps in this country increase 40 percent in the last 40 years, so basically, unfortunately, there's not a lot of incentive for some people to work," Rep. Randy Neugebauer told Texas radio station KFYO. "That's the reason we've got to reform some of these programs." Neugebauer is apparently unaware that Congress already reduced the duration of benefits and partly reformed the unemployment insurance system back in February. Neugebauer might not have read the entire piece of legislation before he voted against it. [HuffPost]

DOUBLE DOWNER: Bob Woodward will tell you if you're on the grand side, or the bargain side, of the coming negotiations. (Hint: If you're one of our DC readers, you're on the grand side. If you're one of those readers from AOL.com who stumbled on this weird newsletter, you're on the other side.)

Don't be bashful: Send tips/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to huffposthill@huffingtonpost.com. Follow us on Twitter - @HuffPostHill

RUMORED TREASURY NOMINEES WILL ABSOLUTELY DELIGHT LIBERALS - And by "absolutely delight" we mean "severely antagonize." If either of these guys are appointed, it'll be like "Freaks and Geeks," "Arrested Development" AND "Downton Abbey" all got canceled and were replaced by "Two and a Half Men" reruns ... and then Ashton Kutcher befriended Lloyd Blankfein and scaled back Medicare benefits. NPR: "It's not surprising that there's been a lot of talk about Erskine Bowles as a replacement for Geithner. Bowles was chairman of the president's deficit reduction panel, the Simpson-Bowles commission. Speaking on Charlie Rose's show last March, Bowles outlined the content of a good budget deal...Bowles was a chief of staff for President Clinton. He's also a former investment banker and is popular with Republicans and on Wall Street. But he has criticized President Obama's budget publicly while praising Paul Ryan's...A more likely choice might be Jack Lew, the current White House chief of staff and formerly the president's budget director...Lew worked on that 1983 Social Security fix as an aide to House Speaker Tip O'Neill. He has Capitol Hill experience and the budget expertise to tackle the big issues that are on the Treasury's plate. And he's got a good working relationship with the president." [NPR]

THE PETRAEUS AFFAIR: NOT JUST A REJECTED IAN FLEMING MANUSCRIPT - Josh Hersh: "Paula Broadwell, whose reported relationship with former CIA director David Petraeus hastened the end of his career last week, may have revealed classified information about the attacks in Benghazi, Libya, during a speech last month, raising new questions about the biographer's access. In an October speech at the University of Denver, Broadwell mentioned a previously unknown detail about the attacks in Benghazi, which had recently flared into controversy that threatened to envelop Petraeus...But Broadwell's access appears to have raised red flags even during her embed, and the concerns continued long after her embed was over, when her relationship with the general reportedly took place. Former aides have told The Washington Post that they found the general's closeness with Broadwell unusual, and were frequently troubled by the level of access she appeared to have while in Afghanistan. Officials at the CIA also told the Associated Press that they had been taken by surprise when Broadwell posted a photograph taken at the agency's Langley headquarters on her personal Facebook page." [HuffPost]

@ChuckGrassley: Can't believe it !! There is history on history channel. Learn abt electricity inventor Edison Powering America

FECAL MATTERS WITH GROVER NORQUIST - During an appearance on CBS' "This Morning" today, the Americans For Tax Reform President eloquently characterized President Obama's reelection strategy the way a kindergarten student might characterize a boy who just kissed her on the cheek. "The president was committed; elected on the basis that he was not Romney and Romney was a poopy head and you should vote against Romney and he won by two points," Norquist said. "But he didn't make the case that we should have higher taxes and higher spending, he kind of sounded like the opposite." Awesome. [HuffPost's Luke Johnson]

It's always liberal in Philadelphia: "It's one thing for a Democratic presidential candidate to dominate a Democratic city like Philadelphia, but check out this head-spinning figure: In 59 voting divisions in the city, Mitt Romney received not one vote. Zero. Zilch." [Inquirer]

ANGUS KING WILL SEE YOU NOW - The independent senator-elect from Maine is in town and is taking bids for baller hideaway offices and lucrative committee assignments. AP: "Independent Sen.-elect Angus King begins a series of meetings this week that'll help him decide which party he'll be caucusing with after he's sworn into office. King, who arrived in Washington on Sunday, has declined to say which party he'd align himself with in the U.S. Senate. Most observers think he'll side with Democrats, but he's said he won't make his decision until after spending some time in Washington. Democratic Sen. Harry Reid already reached out to King to open the door to discussions about caucusing with the party. There's been no similar effort by the Republican leadership. King said his decision could be this week or after Thanksgiving." [AP]

Congress now has its first bisexual lawmaker, and Steve King didn't even have to make an unexpected announcement!. AP: "Former Democratic state Sen. Kyrsten Sinema has been elected to represent a new Phoenix-area congressional district, emerging victorious after a bitterly fought race that featured millions of dollars in attack ads. Sinema had a narrow lead on election night that made the race too close to call. But she slowly improved that advantage as more ballots were tallied in recent days, and now has a nearly 6,000-vote edge that is too much for Republican Vernon Parker to overcome. Sinema becomes the first openly bisexual member of Congress. Her victory came in a year when three states approved gay marriage, and at least five openly gay Democrats were elected to House seats. A Wisconsin congresswoman also became the first openly gay person elected to the Senate." [AP]

We're still waiting for our call from NORML... - Michael Calderone: "Politico chief White House correspondent Mike Allen wrote an article Thursday on The Campaign to Fix the Debt, a new initiative launched that day by Erskine Bowles and former Sen. Alan Simpson (R-Wyo.). Allen concluded his news story with a quote instructing readers that they could 'learn more at www.FixTheDebt.org' and promoted the piece in his must-read morning Playbook under the heading, 'COMING ATTRACTIONS.' By Monday, The Campaign to Fix the Debt was sponsoring Playbook, with the email version of the morning newsletter describing Playbook as being 'presented' by the new initiative... What still isn't clear from the article is why Allen provided anonymity to a 'Fix the Debt official' in order to state the group's mission and describe how "our national debt is getting in the way of America investing in and excelling at so many of the things that make us great.'" [HuffPost]

Give us New Orleans, Austin and Nashville and you can leave: "President Obama's reelection last week has prompted a slew of requests to secede from the United States. Using the Obama administration's own We the People website, nearly two dozen petitions have sprung up asking the Obama administration for permission to withdraw from the Union. The two most popular petitions, Texas and Louisiana, have both drawn more than 10,000 signatures each as of Monday morning. The Texas petition needs only 7,000 more signatures to trigger an official White House response." Some of the signatures on the Texas petition are from New Jersey, fwiw. [Politico]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - "Come at me, bro." Bulldog puppy throws down the gauntlet.

GUY WHO GOT ROMNEY LOGO TATTOOED ON HIS FACE HAS REGRETS - He could always say he's a big fan of Aquafresh toothpaste and that the tattoo artist screwed up. "Eric Hartsburg caught some attention in the weeks leading up to the election for having the Romney campaign's logo tattooed on his face. Suffice to say, he's not happy with Tuesday's results.'Totally disappointed, man,' Hartsburg told POLITICO. 'I'm the guy who has egg all over his face, but instead of egg, it's a big Romney/Ryan tattoo. It's there for life.'' [Politico]

COMFORT FOOD

- Hunter S. Thompson interviews Keith Richards -- thanks, zeitgeist! [http://bit.ly/Rr7pnl]

- The app you've been waiting for: Puppies demonstrate what the weather is like outside. [http://bit.ly/SWYyLA]

- Gummy worms are for the timid and feeble. This 26-pound gummy python is food for the gelatinously adventurous. [http://bit.ly/TBfsM9]

- GooglePoetics is a Tumblr that posts the best Google autofills. [http://bit.ly/RHxPCK]

- "White People Mourning Romney" is a Tumblr dedicated to lightly pigmented Americans despairing over the reelection of Barack Obama. [http://bit.ly/SSUXiG]

- Cats posing like retro pin-up girls. [http://bit.ly/RSX8jT]

- "(S)he's right behind me, isn't (s)he?" -- the lamest joke in movie history. [http://bit.ly/W3vtwu]

TWITTERAMA

@aburnspolitico: Dear Ethicist: I work in an information security-related field but am considering writing explicit and career-destroying emails. Help me?

@indecision: Don't forget to thank a veteran today for taking such good care of our pets.

@pourmecoffee: Going to suggest that if you want to secede from America based on results of democratic election, you're not getting the concept of America.

ON TAP

Tomorrow, 6:30 pm: Pat Toomey, maybe spooked by Pennsylvania's stubborn refusal to vote for a Republican president, passes the hat at a D.C. fundraiser. Or maybe he's just a politician who has to run for office at some point. [Acqua Al 2, 212 7th Street SE]

Wednesday, 8:30 am: Kelly Ayotte, who in an alternate universe is taking some time with her family after the failure of Romney/Ayotte, raises funds for her 2016 reelection bid. [Johnny's Half Shell, 400 North Capitol Street NW]

Wednesday, 6:00 pm: Mike Crapo, who'll never ever ever ever lose reelection (and God be with us if someone primaries Crapo from the right and wins), has a fundraiser for his Freedom Fund PAC. [Charlie Palmer Steak, 101 Constitution Ave NW]

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