As expected, "SNL" dove right into the Petraeus scandal with its cold open on Saturday. But instead of spoofing Petraeus himself, the sketch focused on Paula Broadwell, imagining what an honest reading of her book "All In" would have been like.

Spoiler alert: it would have been SUPER uncomfortable.

The sketch saw Cecily Strong's Broadwell slowly walk (almost) her entire audience as she monotoned the salacious details of her not-at-all concealed affair with the general. For everyone who never wanted to hear about the sexual exploits of a 60-year-old CIA director and his cougar biographer, this is the stuff of nightmares.

CORRECTION: A previous version of this post referred to Paula Broadwell as Paula Broadstone.

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