On the Nov. 24 episode of "Iyanla: Fix My Life," relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant heads to Minneapolis, Minnesota, to help Nicole, a woman who says she feels worthless as a wife and mother. Nicole is struggling to hang on to her second marriage and cope with the unhappy children who are now a part of her blended family.
The Minnesota mom says she has become so good at masking her life that the mask has become her life. "I feel like I'm always on stage," she says. "I feel I have to be this perfect person."
Iyanla asks her, "What do you tell yourself will happen if people know you are vulnerable? They'll hurt you... and then what? Who did that already?"
Nicole admits that her parents didn't make her feel important; she says they divorced when she was 7 and that she now wishes they would have told her about their marriage problems even though she was so young.
Iyanla tells Nicole that even though that's what she wishes would have happened when she was a child, it's inappropriate for her to be talking to her own young daughter about her marriage problems. "Inappropriate behavior," says Iyanla. Then she asks Nicole about her marriage.
"I don't trust," replies Nicole. "[My husband has] given me a reason not to trust him."
Iyanla won't accept that answer. "The only thing that goes on in your life is what you allow to go on in your life," she says.