A breakup is hard enough as is: you're heartbroken, confused, and hurt. On top of the angst you're already feeling, you have to face your friends, who are naturally curious about what went wrong. It's tough when it feel likes everyone is whispering about your personal life, but your classmates will soon move onto gossiping about another news item. Tweeting about your breakup or divulging embarrassing details about your ex will only fuel the fire. We asked the experts about how you should conduct yourself.
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Take The High Road
"You can't hide or skip school," says Jen Kirsch, a freelance relationship columnist. "As tough as it is to face the repercussions of the demise of your relationship, you must hold your head high. The gossip will pass until the next piece of news hits the hallways. In the meantime, if someone approaches you about the breakup, respond, but don't feel like you need to provide any details. You can simply say, 'it just wasn't the right fit,' or 'I appreciate your concern.' This makes you look like the bigger person."
Plan Your Response Ahead Of Time
"You know the questions are going to come, so think of your response in advance," says Catherine Birndorf, a women's mental health expert who co-authored The Nine Rooms of Happiness with Lucy Danziger, editor of SELF. "Before you go to school that first day, take a moment for yourself to prepare. It's nobody's business what happened, but you don't want to get defensive. Bad things happen to everybody, and how you handle them is a real test of your character."
Be Careful About Sharing The Details Of The Relationship
"If you're telling people about your relationship to be malicious or vindictive, then don't do it," says Kirsch. "But if you are doing it to seek help and support from your social network, then it's justified. It all comes down to what your intentions are. Talk to a trustworthy person who can help you cope and move forward. If you're not all that trusting of your friends, you can always talk to a sibling, an adult or seek professional help." "Take your private emotions to the people you trust, and they're not usually on your Twitter fan base," adds Birndorf. "This is a common reason why people start seeing a therapist—it can help you figure out how to handle the situation."
Keep Quiet On Social Media
"Fight the urge to share your woes with the world," says Kirsch. "Instead of talking about the breakup or alluding to it, post about other great things you are doing for yourself, such as trying a new recipe. And remember, passive aggressive tweets make you look like you're just not over it." "If he's posting about the breakup, block him," she adds. "And if he becomes threatening in any way, approach a parent, guardian or a guidance official at your school. Never comment on his attacks via social media. When you do that, you're showing him that he's getting to you and it will likely provoke him to continue."
"Take on more responsibilities," says Kirsch. "Get involved in extracurricular activities. Take up yoga. The busier you are and the more responsibilities you have, the more value of worth you'll feel. It's a great reminder to you that you don't need anyone else -- nor their company, though it would be nice -- to make you happy."