Until now, when we thought "Santa" we imagined a jolly old man with a bright red suit, a long white beard, rosy red cheeks and a jovial expression. But it turns out we've been doing it all wrong.
Thanks to the artists (we use that term loosely) behind the 30 depictions of ol' Saint Nick below, we realized that we've been forgetting to add shifty eyes, four inches of extra forehead and an emaciated frame to the ol' Saint Nick in our minds. Oh, and did you know that Father Christmas is really just an old baby with a beard?
Just check out 30 of the creepiest Santa dolls the Internet has to offer below to see what we mean.
"The better to eat you with, my dear."
He has ways of knowing if you've been naughty.
He only has to be "on" one day a year.
We don't want to know our Santa's dark backstory.
Heroin Chic Santa
It looks like Santa's going to use this year's 364-day vacation in rehab.
"Please, someone find my nose."
Where do the cookies and milk go?
Giant Forehead Santa
Oh no! Someone replaced his eyebrows with packing peanuts!
Hulk Hands Santa
Far Away Santa
Vacant stare aside, he looks like Big Boy, but grown up.
This is our first entry in the "creepy baby santa" subcategory.
Wouldn't it be kind of amazing to find out that Santa's been a woman this entire time?
"I Know Something You Don't Know" Santa
What are you looking at, old man?
"Ah, just put a Santa costume on that elf and call it a day."
"About To Sneeze" Santa
At least, we hope that's what this expression means.
Santa With Extra Skin
What is up with his forehead?
"Just give him some twigs."
Serial Killer Santa
He will find you.
Like Droopy Dog, only sadder, because it's Christmas.
Sadly, Santa lost his right eye in an unfortunate reindeer accident.
Look, he sees you when you're sleeping. He knows.
Benjamin Button Santa
Why do they keep making Santa look like an old baby?
There's no way this came out exactly as planned.
His expression tells us there might not be tabacco in that pipe.
Bearded Baby Santa
Did a Bratz doll give birth to this?
This Santa is showing some serious 'tude.
Who Are We Kidding? Santa
You just drew white eyelashes on a regular doll.
We'll call this the demonic spawn of Christmas and Easter.
To be fair, zombies are very "in" this year.
Angry Puppet Santa
OK, we're done now.
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