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12/19/2012 12:20 pm ET | Updated Feb 12, 2013

Self-Esteem-Building Advice from Iyanla Vanzant: 'Put Yourself First' (VIDEO)

Are you the "strong" one in your life? Do you put others before yourself?

Relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant says it's not necessarily a good thing to put yourself last. In this clip from an episode of "Oprah's Lifeclass," Iyanla says it's not selfish to put yourself first -- it's self-full.

"You are the representation of God in your life," Iyanla says. "And you put you last and put other people ahead of you. Which means you're putting other things and other people ahead of God in your life."

Oprah asks Iyanla whether that notion contradicts the adage of "treating your brother like yourself."

"That's when you're getting into the service," Iyanla says. "But in your life you've got to be as good to you as you want to be to God in order to be of service to others in the world."

"That I get," says Oprah. "So it's not selfish to put yourself first?"

"No, it's self-full," says Iyanla. "It's self-full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy. That doesn't mean you disregard everything and everyone. But you want to come with your cup full. You know: 'My cup runneth over.' What comes out of the cup is for y'all. What's in the cup is mine. But I've got to keep my cup full."

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