Someone did a very crappy thing to Randy Nemirsky — they stole the outhouse on his farm near Edmonton, Alberta.
As you might expect, he wants it back, badly, and is offering a $507 reward to the person who brings back the toilet.
The reasons why he wants it returned so much are both personal and, well, personal.
He built the outhouse with his son Nick last year after tearing down the previous privy that had been on the grounds of his family farm since 1936.
“We planned this summer to rebuild the old outhouse there and we dug the hole and it was a whole summer project,” he told CBS.ca.
The Nemirskys finished the project last August, but, come October, all that was left was a hole in the ground and a few boards scattered around it.
"I think at least four to six guys had to come here to do this ... two guys? No way they could do this," Nemirsky said, according to UPI. "You spent time building it, and where do you go now? I can build another one, but how low can you go to steal a man's privy?"
Nemirsky is keeping an eye on nearby fields and farms for the outlaws with the outhouse.
People in the area who want to help should be on the lookout for an 8-foot-tall structure made from plywood and two-by-fours with a soft-seat toilet cover and an 80-year-old door from his mother's basement, according to HuffPost Canada.
Nemirsky may not be flush with cash, but he doesn't mind offering the reward if it brings back the commode.
“If someone can find me the toilet, I’ll pay,” Nemirsky told the Edmonton Journal.
He estimates it cost him about $500 to build the privy, including a table saw he bought for the project.
“It’s worth it to me. The biggest thing is my time," he told the paper.