"When I'm looking for relationship advice, I always turn to televangelist and gay icon Pat Robertson," Colbert admitted when introducing his support for Robertson's newest foot-in-mouth statement on "Foot In Mouth: The TV Show," also known as "The 700 Club."
Earlier this week, Robertson made headlines for saying that "awful looking women" are centrally to blame for marriage problems. Which is exactly what Jesus preached.
Colbert quoted his favorite Bible verse supporting this: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone... at that uggo over there, woof!"
Check out Colbert's mocking endorsement of Robertson's rant from last night's "Colbert Report" in the clip above.
Also on HuffPost:
Be Grateful For Cheating Husband
Responding to a question from a viewer, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/15/pat-robertson-cheating-husband-wife-marriage_n_3281416.html" target="_blank">Robertson said that married men "have a tendency to wander"</a> and it is the spurned wife's job to focus on the positive and make sure the home is so enticing, he doesn't want to stray.
God vs. Gay
"This country cannot continue to violate God's principles and to make a mockery of His laws and think we're gonna get away with it. And when the boil comes, it's going to be horrible."
Creationism Is.. Wrong?
Pat Robertson stunned many of his viewers when <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/28/pat-robertson-creationism-earth-is-not-6000-years-old_n_2207275.html">he dispelled the idea that Earth is only 6,000 years old</a>.
Islam = Nazism?
Bemoaning the fact that he's been called a "fanatic" and a "bigot" for expressing what he deems to be "truth," Robertson told viewers that Islam is to blame for not only the Boston Marathon bombing, but terrorism around the world. He then compared <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/23/pat-robertson-islam-nazism-evil-video_n_3134711.html" target="_blank">Islam to Nazism</a>.
"I know people disagree on the question of homosexuality: Is it something they're born with or is it something they acquire? I think a lot of it is acquired. ... Normally speaking, a person who has acquired this can un-acquire it. We've had many people who have indeed left the homosexual lifestyle and gone into a heterosexual relationship and been very, very happy."
Mac 'n' What?
"What is this mac 'n' cheese? Is that a black thing?"
Illuminati for Gay Matrimony
He thinks <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/22/pat-robertson-gay-marriage-illuminati-_n_3131233.html" target="_blank">supporters of same-sex marriage are akin to followers of the Illuminati</a>, a group with supposedly mystical ties that some people have claimed has immense influence on society and culture and have been tied to a number of conspiracy theories for years.
Alzheimer's Justifies Divorce
"I hate Alzheimer's. It is one of the most awful things, because here's the loved one -- this is the woman or man that you have loved for 20, 30, 40 years, and suddenly that person is gone ... I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/14/pat-robertson-divorce-alzheimers_n_963305.html" target="_hplink">he should divorce her</a> and start all over again, but to make sure she has custodial care, somebody looking after her." (The 700 Club, Sept. 13, 2011)
Legalize It. Really.
"We're locking up people that take a couple of puffs of marijuana, and next thing you know they've got 10 years. They've got mandatory sentences, and these judges, they say, they throw up their hands, they say, 'There's nothing that we can do. There's mandatory sentences.' We've got to take a look at what we're considering crimes, and that's one of them. I'm not exactly for the use of drugs -- don't get me wrong. But I just believe that criminalizing marijuana, criminalizing the possession of a few ounces of pot and that kind of thing, I mean, it's costing us a fortune and it's ruining young people. Young people go into prisons, they go in as youths, and the come out as hardened criminals. And that's not a good thing."
<strong>Pat Robertson:</strong> If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have? <strong>Terry Meeuwsen:</strong> Well, she can't have children. <strong>Robertson:</strong> That's exactly right. And so, if these married woman can't, don't have children, if they abort their babies, then it kinda puts them on a level playing field. "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." (1992 Iowa fundraising letter opposing a state equal-rights amendment, "Equal Rights Initiative in Iowa Attacked," <em>Washington Post</em>, Aug. 23, 1992)
"We're importing Hinduism into America. The whole thought of your karma, of meditation, of the fact that there's no end of life and there's this endless wheel of life, this is all Hinduism. Chanting too. Many of those chants are to Hindu Gods -- Vishnu, Hare Krishna. The origin of it is all demonic. We can't let that stuff come into America." (The 700 Club, March 23, 1995) "If anybody understood what Hindus really believe, there would be no doubt that they have no business administering government policies in a country that favors freedom and equality." ("The New World Order," p. 219)
In the Spirit of the Anti-Christ...
"I think the Antichrist is Islam." "Presbyterians are the spirit of the Antichrist." ("The Best Democracy Money Can Buy," p. 239) "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense, I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist." (The 700 Club, Jan. 14, 1991)
Separation of Church and State is a Lie
"The separation of God from government has been a tragedy for the whole country. It has been a tragedy to think that this is a secular country." (The 700 Club, February 2009) "There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore." (address to his American Center for Law and Justice, November 1993)
Haiti's Deal with the Devil
"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know -- Napoleon the Third or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you, if you'll get us free from the French.' It's a true story. And so the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out -- the Haitians revolted and got themselves free -- but ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other."
Just Beat Her
Robertson <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/11/pat-robertson-become-muslim-to-beat-your-wife_n_1873142.html">advised a man to become Muslim so he could beat his troublesome wife</a>.
Pat Robertson said <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/08/pat-robertson-shocked-that-women-watch-porn-enjoy-fifty-sahdes-of-gray_n_2094829.html">he's shocked that some women watch porn</a>.
Karate or Devil Worship?
"I don't see anything wrong with being a wrestling coach, or a boxing coach. But if you get into that business where those who are involved in martial arts, before they start, are actually inhaling some demon spirit -- and some of them do that, by the way -- that enormous strength comes about not from a human source but from a demonic source. You don't want to have anything to do with any of that. So I'll leave it to you, but it's a question of: Are you going to help little kids get out of the ghetto, like Chuck Norris does, or are you gonna teach rich people how to hurt their friends?"
Obama's Clowns Occupy Wall Street
"[President Obama] has chosen to attack a segment of our population: those who have been successful. He is attacking those who own capital, those who use jet aircraft as a business tool. He's attacking all the people who have any kind of luxury or wealth, and yet, he goes to Martha's Vineyard and hobnobs with the rich. ... <strong>These clowns up there at Occupy Wall Street are just picking up the President's message</strong>, perhaps in a cruder form."
ACLU + Abortion = 9/11
<strong>Pat Robertson:</strong> I think we've just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven't even begun to see what they can do to the major populations...<br> <strong>Jerry Falwell:</strong> The ACLU's gotta take a lot of blame for this.<br> <strong>Robertson:</strong> Oh yes.<br> <strong>Falwell:</strong> ...and I know I'll hear from them for this, but throwing God -- successfully, with the help of the federal court system -- throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools -- the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked, and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians, who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this happen."<br> <strong>Robertson:</strong> Well, I totally concur.
Sodom and America
"There's never been a civilization, ever in history, that has embraced homosexuality and turned away from traditional fidelity and traditional marriage, traditional child rearing, and has survived."
Robertson says <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/27/pat-robertson-homosexuality-demonic-possession_n_1382163.html">being gay is demonic possession</a>.
Blames The Atheists
The Rev. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/06/pat-robertson-says-those-_n_1749532.html">blamed atheists and other God-haters for the Sikh temple shooting</a> in August.
'He's A Man' So It's OK
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/13/pat-robertson-on-general-_n_2123111.html">Robertson dismissed General David Patraeus' infidelity</a> saying that he was just a lonely man and she was "extremely good looking."
Robertson <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/14/pat-robertson-obama_n_2301228.html">accused President Obama</a> of being a "socialist" who wants to "destroy" America.
Robertson <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/19/pat-robertson-miserable-atheists-trying-to-steal-christmas_n_2159844.html">unmasks the mysterious culprit of the War on Christmas</a>.